Just Keep Smiling

Bye-bye, 2011

2011-12-31T12:35:00.002+08:00

So it's the last day of 2011.

It's been quite the run, this year--probably because it came with this much change.
On this very day last year, I was in Genting Highlands with my friends, I was still such a kid back then. Today, here I am in Taiwan, pursuing my dreams alone in this foreign place I never thought I'd be studying at. There has been so many things that I've learned this year, and I've matured considerably.

I used to think that my friends are more important than my family,
I used to think that things will work out even if we don't put effort in what we do,
I used to think of just so much bullshit.
I'm glad this year turned out to be what it was, because of that only would I be who I am today.
I am thankful of the people that scowled, scolded, and disregarded me--I've become stronger, and more hardened because of you people. Like they say, "what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger", eh?
So even if you dislike/disliked me, thank you, nonetheless.

I am even more appreciative of everyone that supported me, and ushered me forward throughout the year.
My parents, especially. They taught me so much when I was back in Malaysia, being constantly under their supervision and care. They taught me even more important lessons through the long, expensive international phone calls. They supported me with their voices, and kept me moving forward even when I thought I was done trying. They never gave up on me, even when I was on the wrong path. They've been trying their best to satisfy my wants, even when I don't need anything more luxurious than what I currently have. Being here in Taiwan made me realize things so much more, with an even more accurate precision. I simply cannot put my feelings into words, as even the deepest of words would not be up to par with how I feel.

My dear Father and Mother. Thank you for all that you've given, done, and sacrificed for me up until this point.

My family, my friends, and my associates. I know that sometimes I'm an ass to work with, but thank you one and all, for all the tolerance and acceptance that you've given to me.

This has been a year of growth, appreciation and gratefulness,
which also means that 2011 was a blast,
and I've everyone in my life to thank for it.

I sincerely wish that 2012 would be yet another great year,
not only for me, but for everyone around me as well.

Thank you.

My memories of this year, according to date.

Part of my friends :)

Voted for Class Guidance Counselor 3-1 @ NTNU Back Garden

10 legged, 11 people race @ NTNU Sports Day

Sportsday 3-1 @ NTNU field

Outing @ Taiping Zoo

Mommy dear's Birthday Celebration @ Sunway Pyramid

Papa, Mommy, Baby Brother & I.

Asking questions @ Overseas Chinese Students Q&A, China Culture University

Groupshot @ 國父紀念館

Canteen Day @ NTNU. Class 1-11

Sports Day @ NTNU

Dinner outing @ Linkou

Christmas @ School

Jay Chou's Signature/Concert @ XimenDing

Randomshot @ Taipei MRT Station

&then there's me.
Thank you for everything, everyone. :)

Barely legal

2011-12-10T18:59:00.001+08:00

I'm 18 now, barely legal, but legal, nonetheless. ;))

Had my 18th birthday cake two days ago--December 08.

the stuff that looks like blood? Ketchup.

How'd it get there? Birthday parties.

I had a very enjoyable day for my 18th birthday, I was really content.

It was truly better than I thought it would be.

Thank you, everyone that wished me, that celebrated with me, that surprised me.

Been really busy these days, couldn't find a suitable time to update my blog,
but stay tuned, I tend to be late, but I'm worth the wait.

2011-11-06T02:11:00.001+08:00

Another post in the "Drafts" section.

I'll update soon, perhaps in a few days' time, after my exams.

Until then,

just keep smiling.

Stones & Gems

2011-10-10T21:20:00.001+08:00

Music often bookmarks itself to our memories, be it a picture-perfect piece of memory that we're especially fond of, or a horrid memory that we would never want to relive again. It's a Friday night that I started on this post, and I've been thinking about...stuff for the past few hours, reluctant to have a step outside for a breather--not because it's raining, but rather, I just find my current life to be such a void. I'm studying, yes, and I'm slowly, but steadily proceeding towards my goal, a place in one of the top universities in Taiwan.

It's actually all pretty figured out--study hard, get accepted into the university that I want, graduate with top honours, get a good job with a handsome pay, work, and then settle back into dust. Oh and getting married maybe, somewhere along the way. Have a kid or two, and impart what knowledge that I've gained throughout my life. But then again, I don't really see marriage and me coming to a truce within the next 10years of my life, or if ever.

See, it's actually pretty simple, no? Life. But then again it's always so complicated, no matter how simple we may plan it to be. Life tends to want to screw us over even when we've plotted our own life's graph from top to bottom with excruciating detail, with the precision of a master marksman. It's a bitch. That isn't without attitude. We're forced to play by the rules that it sets for us, whether we like it, or not. If you're born talented, you're blessed with the luxury of being able to just sing your way to fame, or draw, or whatever. You get the idea. But what if you're born without those assets? What if you're born with a genetic disorder that causes you to have both male and female characteristics in you? What if you were born being as plain as paper? What if you're just not gifted? What then; have you ever wondered?

The other day, I was with my friends, we were at the basketball courts, looking at people doing their thing. It made me think to myself, "Whoa, they're so good!" I looked on with my friends, and from being impressed, I went to self-questioning. You'd always hear that we're good at something, that everybody's good at something; but have you ever wondered about yourself? Have you ever truly able to convince yourself, that you're actually good at something? Whatever it may be? Because honestly, I was never able to convince myself that I excelled in a certain field. It's not your typical low-self esteem symptoms, I assure you, that is not the case. I've just been reflecting upon myself and my abilities, my forté's. I'm not particularly good at something, no master of any one skill. I'm a jack of all trades, also translated as: bloody useless. I've tried, you see. I've tried to be adept at basketball, to be good at badminton, or to be amazing at volleyball. I don't know whether did I try hard enough, but at least I did. It comes to play, that whole born talented thing, don't you think so? Some people are just better at some stuff than others-there are pros at basketball, dancing, swimming, singing, acting, looking good, whatever; and then there's...me. Honestly, I've always admired people who are gifted--whatever it is that you're good at.

But if so, what am I good at then? I'm not as good as the others on the basketball court, or on the sports scene, for that matter. I must be good at something else, right? I must be. That was what I thought until I continued my descend into the little room of achievements locked away inside my mind's maze. Achievements, achievements..what have I achieved so far in my life? What gratifying act have I done? Saved any damsels in distress perhaps? As far as I know, all that I've done throughout these years are nothing more than a pile of stuff that shares the same value of a pile of horse manure. In layman terms, I haven't achieved anything noteworthy at all; nor am I currently good at something. If I die tomorrow, I'd be one hell of a depressed spirit if I'm asked about what have I attained in my life.

Everybody's good at something, is just a lie people started to invent, probably since they realize that they're just not good enough at something compared to others. This is what I think right now. Perhaps it's because of the people around me; they're so popular, they're so good with sports, they're so good with mathematics, whatever it is. But not me. I'm just so average that it stings so badly.

Sigh. I'm just not good enough...

And that's why I'm striving to improve myself, one way, or the other. I will rise above the rocks, and get a spot for myself with the gems. And so will you; do not ever think, for one second, that you're just an average Joe or Jane, because even the most average of people can transform themselves into amazing individuals, they just need to try hard enough. Life isn't fair; it never was. That's why average people would have to work harder than the blessed ones to actually be on-par with them, just don't ever give up.

Cheers.

Mid-Autumn Festival

2011-09-12T19:34:00.001+08:00

So here I am, back in Taiwan.

Classes are scheduled to start sometime this week.

And what do I want right now, at this moment, is to be at home with my family and my friends. Back to everything that's familiar to me, to celebrate the Mid-Autumn Festival with them, like always. To be able to hold a lantern again without people telling me that I'm too old to be playing with lanterns. I wish that life came with a damn rewind button, is what I want right now. To think, I used to thought that it was so stupid, doing all those things with my family, like, lanterns? Really? Lanterns with music were more like it. Those that looked like Mickey, Donald, or whatever that was the hit that time, waaay back then. Those were the epitome of bad-assery. To a kid, that is.

Anyway, it's Mid-Autumn Festival today, or 中秋節, or Mooncake Festival, however you want to call it. It's going to be the first time I spend it away from my family, away from home. It...feels different. We're looking at the same moon, but a different night's sky. We're celebrating the same festival, the same occasion..but with a different mood, a different sensation. Mooncakes, lanterns, people..I realize now, that it's not about the things we do at times, but rather, who do we do it with that actually counts.

A few years back, I was at Guangzhou, China. I celebrated Christmas there--for once, away from my family. I was happy, because it was a change. And new was always good for me.

I remember I learned a chinese poem there, it was about the moon, and about the people in the author's life. Which fits today, and my current mood oh so perfectly.

明月幾時有，把酒問青天。

不知天上宮闕，今夕是何年。

我欲乘風歸去，又恐瓊樓玉宇，高處不勝寒。

起舞弄清影，何似在人間!

轉朱閣，低綺戶，照無眠。

不應有恨，何事長向別時圓?

人有悲歡離合，月有陰晴圓缺，此事古難全。

但願人長久，千里共嬋娟。

水調歌頭 - 蘇軾

I'm actually pretty darn teary right now. *laughs*

If you're reading my blog, chances are, you're not that adept at the chinese language, so I'll try my best to translate it for you, aye. Here goes.

When does the moon appear clear and bright?

As I raise my glass of wine, I ask the sky.

What season is it today, up in the heavens?

I'd like to ride on the winds to go home, but I fear the heights and distances of the mountains are too high and cold for me.

Dancing with my shadow under the moonlit night, I don't feel that I'm in the human realm.

The moon turns the scarlet mansion, it shines upon the silk doors and the sleepless.

Bearing no grudge, but why is the moon full, when people are apart?

Joy and sorrow, departure and arrival is all about in the human world.

The moon also, may sometimes be bright and full, sometimes dim and imperfect.

This has always been, since the beginning of time.

May we all be blessed with longevity,

though we may be far apart, we are still able to admire the beauty of the moon together.

Controlling my tears have never been my forté..

Things can't go back to the way it was; its so frustrating, but yet, so very poignant. Everything that happened in the past will remain the past, no matter how much we want things to be the way it was. Life's just too short, and us, as humans, we don't cherish nearly enough for everything to be perfect. We tend to decide that things are stupid at that moment, and usually discord happens. But when we think about it days, months, or years later..was it all worth it? Hurting the people you love, or missing the chance to do something so exclusive, so once-in-a-lifetime, just because you acted on a spur of the moment. Was it all worth it?

I do not regret when it comes to my past mistakes. Because all that molded me into who I am today. Thank you, everyone. I am grateful and appreciative. And sorry if I've ever crossed you.. I know that sorry doesn't change anything, and perhaps it came a bit too late from me; just keep in mind that you've played a part into making me a better person.

To my family, and all of my friends:

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival!

I love you guys. :')

Growing Up

2011-08-28T15:50:00.000+08:00

When we were young, looking forward to being grown-up was almost all that mattered in our minds-being able to drive and go to whatever places that we wished to at any moment of the day, being able to drink soft drinks all day long without a care in the world, being able to stay up late and watch movies, but the best part was being grown up means we answer to nobody, but ourselves... That was the dream, wasn't it?

And then we grew up.
We found out, that being able to drive requires us to be constantly alert on the road, and that one little mistake may be the last scene that an unfortunate person sees that day.
We found out, that being able to go all over the place means that we're required to go to places that we didn't want to, even more than when we were still young.
We found out, that drinking soft drinks all day long will land us into diabetes.
We found out, that being able to stay up late to do whatever it is that we want to would put us into a state of zombie-comatose the very next day, and we'd be so worn out, that we'd want to sleep in all day long, wasting our lives away.

The worst thing is that we found out was when we answer to nobody, we unknowingly loaded lots of responsibility on our own shoulders. Anything and everything we do will not be blamed onto our parents anymore, but rather, ourselves.

Growing up was, and still is an amazing experience.
We learn so much throughout the days, months and years. We slowly get exposed to new things, we constantly learn more and more with each passing day, it was exciting to wake up everyday to think that we're growing up, day by day, and sooner or later, we'll be able to do things like drive when we reach eighteen; we're excited by the fact that we'll soon be able to be the kings or queens of our own life; we're astounded by the freedom that is given to us increasingly, day by day.

But being grown up, or at least until this stage of my life-grown up, isn't as awesome as I thought it'd be.
The responsibility on our shoulders to study hard, the knowledge that we've gained throughout the years that tells us; differentiates our every move from right and wrong increases. Especially the responsibility. We slowly realize that life, in all its seriousness, isn't a walk down at the park, but rather an excruciatingly brutal and materialistic journey. A journey that may or may not turn out to be "happily ever after" like in the fairy tales. It killed our childhood fantasy that one day; someday, we'll be rich, like Scrooge McDuck as long as we're hardworking. Growing up taught me; taught us that hard work alone is insufficient if we want to be like that fictional duck. Being grown up also meant that I'd need to cast away my wants, and incorporate the needs into my life, more than ever.

When I was young, ATM machines seemed like magic-money making things to me. With that godly little card, adults could get money just like that. I thought that those paper that the adults call money were acquired like that, but not from working their asses off. I thought the world was so beautiful, and that everyone was nice to me without some sort of a motive behind their minds. When I was young, crying seemed to get me almost every single thing that I wanted. All I needed to do back then, was my homework. My duties were confined to only sleeping early, and doing my homework. Nothing more.

Then I just had to grow up, and get to know things.
My fantasies that I thought were fact were shattered and cast away into the wind. Money was acquired from the ATM from the bank, where our money was kept. Money that we earn through months, if not years to obtain. People were nice to me because they wanted something in return from me, and crying right now does not, and will not net me anything at all, but it is destructive to my image in people's minds. People would think I'm pathetic, and weak. Growing up meant I needed to be strong and capable in so many different fields. From sleeping early to doing my homework, it has increased to such a height that I didn't even think about when I was young. I learned that being excellent means being average.

Growing up stinks.
People start leaving our lives at one point or another. Be it friends who leave to other places to study, family members migrating to other places to live, or people we know departing to the afterlife. We start to learn so much, that what we initially thought was awesome turned out to be not-so-nice, if not awful.

Sorry for the mess in this post, dear blog-there's actually so much I want to express, but its all caught up in my mind's web, entangled. I may seem like I'm fine with everything, but deep down, I think I'm still a little kid, torn apart between my fantasies and my facts, desperately still trying to salvage what's left of my broken spaceship, the Fantasy. I want so much, but I don't need so much. I try to tell myself that I'm already grown up, and it's time to act that way-to act mature. I think I'm mature enough, but then I found out that, yes, I'm mature, but not mature enough. Still not enough. There's so much more that needs to be done, so much more that I need to learn. I think we all do. And we always will, until the day we die.

*laughs* The other day, I was at this Japanese restaurant. There was a short story on the table inside, titled An Interview With God. One sentence was about how fascinated God is about human beings that we get bored with childhood, long to grow up, and then to find ourselves wishing that we were young again. It's so true, aye? I'm sure there's at least one, if not all of us that wishes that we were children again. Those innocent days when what mommy and daddy said mattered the most, when we could simply throw tantrums to avoid doing things we dislike.

But those days are long gone, we're all inevitably growing up moment by moment, and the world requires us to be grown up. Fantasies should be remained as fantasies, dreams should be tuned into goals, facts and fictions should be differentiated from one another.
I'm so tired of thinking about the same things all the time, you know? So tired of so many things. So tired of being grown up, even when I'm still not fully grown up yet.

Just so tired.

2011-07-23T01:07:00.001+08:00

Humanity is just so disgusting, no?

The Pieces

2011-06-27T23:57:00.001+08:00

Memories are the things that we've experienced, they are the things that help remind us of what we've been through; they are the things that keeps us together, even though we're apart from one another. They remind us, of who we were, what we did, but most importantly, they're the important bits and pieces that makes us whole-into who we are today. Every passing moment is precious, and every single second irreplaceable.

Paintball day.

Henry Ting & Khoon Seng's birthday party.

Was reading my old blog posts with my friends Hong Nian and Teoh the other night, from 2008 to 2011, I've changed so much compared to back then. I even express myself in my blog differently, now. And the things that I post about are more filled with thought and feelings, in contrast with back then, when blogging was like writing my own diary-every single post was almost filled with things I do everyday, or simply things that I experienced daily, physically or emotionally. Those days are gone now, the days that I thought would've been so much better if left behind me, the days that I thought are so very lifeless. Now that I think about it, "what the hell was I thinking?!", I find myself wondering.

Bryan Liew's birthday party.

It is actually more often than not, that people-as in everybody would be thinking that they're so very "lifeless", or "bored". Nobody actually takes the time to think, that every single moment experienced is once-in-a-lifetime. You will not feel the same as you did, at that exact same time, at that exact same date. Instead, everybody just takes these moments and periods for granted, and complain about them-expressing their unhappiness about everything. Have you ever stopped whining when you're bored, and instead use that time to do something more beneficial for yourself, if not for the people around you? Read a book, maybe. Or even just reflect. That's already better than being "bored", or "lifeless". Teenagers, especially-these days, almost every single day they're complaining that they've "nothing to do", when studying, as being as student, is actually the most fundamental thing that they should be doing. I remember complaining to my mother back then that I was dead bored, when I was still nothing but a typical run-of-the-mill teenage boy. I remember telling my friends that I "didn't have a life". It went on and on, until I got fed-up of using these terms; as they won't make a difference.

Bored teens.

Then I realized.
I realized that every fleeting moment, be it boring or not, is exclusive to you, and only you. The individual, unique feeling that only you and yourself are entitled to-they should not be wasted on mindlessly whining about how "boring" your current situation is. It's actually up to you to change that. To be having a better time for yourself. I realized that those days in high school, when I thought that things just won't end, when I thought that "I can't wait to get myself out of this place"...I realized that those days could've actually been more meaningful than I thought they could ever be. Looking at the past, I've been such a brat. I thought that I was bored every single day, and that I was at the epitome of lifelessness. I didn't know how to cherish, until they were truly gone-as I wished they'd be. High school's really over now, and everybody's left the place that they thought were mindlessly hard to go by. Ask anyone of them right now though, and they'll tell you the same thing: they miss high school-the place that they thought so badly of, high school.

My lovely family.

There is no such thing as "being bored", or "being lifeless".
The true meaning behind these statements in fact, are: You're wasting your time.

Every moment is precious, and every single second irreplaceable.
Therefore hold on tight, and never let go of them, even if they seem to be worthless at that very millisecond.
Time is of the essence, they say. And true, that. So very true.
Cherish every single thing that you have right now,

My most-loved parents.

Grandparents, brother and I.

Before Aunt Lin Sie's wedding, the bride herself, and my brother.

Yin Jen's birthday party, 2009.

Fathers' Day, 2009, KL.

My overseas friends and I, the day they were leaving.

and never ever take them for granted.

If it's not bad, make it good; if it's already good, make it better.

Memories and time;
they're never fully within our grasps,
we can only try our best to make the most out of them,
and never forget, that you won't be able to experience any day twice.
Never ever take them for granted.

But most importantly,

no matter what you do, no matter what the circumstances,

just keep smiling.

Happy Fathers' Day

2011-06-19T13:25:00.000+08:00

So it's June 19, 2011.
What day is today? It's Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day, dad,

Thanks for being such a great father to me over the years, I'm very proud to be your son. If I were to be given a choice, to choose between you, David Beckham, Andy Lau or even the King himself for my father, I'd still choose you. I just can't imagine anyone else that I'll be calling "father" to, that, and also because you're doing one hell of a job being the main pillar in our simple family. Thank you for everything that you have done for us, and also thank you for choosing mom. I'd probably still stick to my view that you got married too early, but then again, if you didn't, god knows where would I be right now-but there most certainly won't be a 17 and a half year-old teenager, dedicating this post to you from Taiwan at this very moment, telling you how much he appreciates you for all you've done-your sacrifices, and your place in his heart.
I won't let you down.

Loves,
from both your sons,
Ang U-Guan & Ang U-S'ng

Making It There

2011-05-22T21:38:00.002+08:00

So at some point of your life, you'd be thinking that there are so many things which you did in the past, actually are so bloody pointless. They're so pointless that all you do when you think about them is laugh. Hysterically.

I can't believe at one point in my life, I used to love video games so much, that I thought I'd end up as a professional gamer in the future. At another point, I thought popularity meant so much that I'd give myself a complete make-over, just to have people accepting me-for being someone that I'm not. I ended up having my grades looking worse than crap, and having me losing my original personality, my spice. And these two examples are nothing, compared to other things that I regret further. They're just so mind-blowingly dumb. So many things just aren't worth the time and effort that we pour in, when we think about them right now.

I'm growing up, and these are among the many things that I've learned throughout the past few years. Time waits for no one, and decisions called will make a difference in the future, one way or another. Therefore I won't waste my time anymore with random nonsense; I look forward to a transcendence in the future, that'll spawn a more perfect me. But until then, I'll keep growing up, and living my life to it's fullest, most meaningful way possible. I'll face harsh pavings, unclear paths;
but I'll make it there.

And yeah, I know I don't sound like your average teen, but y'know, I never did say I'm normal.

Intertwined

2011-05-20T14:06:00.000+08:00

So the thing is, I have tonnes of blog posts in my drafts section. Each one of them are written halfway; and left at that. I..think I can't write anymore. Lost, and unfocused would be the two words that keep my worlds interlocked with each other right now, things I should do, things I want to do; they all just clash with each other; just like my mind and my heart. They've always been at a bitter war with each other-at each other's necks, threatening to break the other, before they had theirs broken. I'm just so unsure and unclear, but somehow or rather, I'm still holding onto the things I know. I know that I want to be successful in the future; I know that I love music; I know that as long as my faith doesn't falter, I'd be unstoppable.

I know.
But I don't know.
Is it normal? To be lost every once in a while. Heck, I don't even think I've ever been "lost" when I've never even found my own direction-my own path before. I'm always stumbling here and there, from the ledges of the streets, to the undergrowths of the forests; trying to follow inspirational people in their footsteps. But halfway through the journey, I lose sight of the point of trying, when I know where my capabilities are, or when I know that I'm not the same as those people. Somehow, I don't even know what am I saying right now, and I'd hit the exit button again; and just let this post be; just like that. Like I've never written it before.

I don't know what's wrong with me.
I don't know where does my zeal lie, my ardor, my passion when the others already do.
I'm just doubting so many things, that even facts and truths are slowly turning blur in my line of sight.
I'm still looking for a way to get through the mist that clouds the sight of my mind's eye.

It's so laughable, that day after day, I'm being in this state of mind, this weary, pathetic state. I know. I want to leave all of this too, but somehow, I'm shackled up and binded into the straight jacket that are made of my own demons; my own despairs. They tell me I'm not good enough, they tell me I won't succeed. Their treacherous whispers poison my thoughts. I know I shouldn't listen, but I just can't. I'd run, but where to? The rays of hope don't pierce through the walls of my heart, and I'm but a prisoner of it's calling.

The ups and downs of my worlds have their boundaries intertwined;
and I'm just lost in all the discord.

Happy Mothers' Day

2011-05-08T00:14:00.000+08:00

Happy Mothers' Day, Mommy dearest!

Firstly, I hope I got you surprised. Heh. Secondly, sorry for not being a really filial son for the past 17 years, it's my fault and I should be accounted for. I always took so much of your sacrifices for granted, and because of that, I've made your tears come rolling down for countless times since I was a baby.. I bet it was really tough huh, when you were having me in your womb until today itself. Sorry, mommy. But thank you for sending me over here, because of that, I've grown even more, and I absolutely will not take things for granted anymore.

Who I am today, even though I'm not academically amazing, I'm proud. I'm proud that I've such an amazing mother. I'm proud that I know so much about life, and how to be a good person. I'm happy, that you, of all people in this world, is my mother. If I were given a choice to choose the queen, or some other random lady out there are my mom, or you, I'd surely choose you, mommy. No doubt about that. Thank you for every thing you did for us-me and U-S'ng. The ups and downs that you gave us so much when I was young, when you were scolding us, when you were encouraging us, your sacrifices for us, your tender caring for us, and everything-be it big or small. Thank you.

Thank you for being such an awesome Mommy that every mom wants to be and every kid hopes to have.
Thank you for everything.
I love you, mom.

Show Me A Smile

2011-05-01T22:30:00.002+08:00

Life in Taiwan..isn't really what I'd like to call, "fun". It's another stage of life, it's a whole pristine environment that I'm still slowly accommodating to.

Hey blog, been awhile, eh? But I'm back, perhaps for only one post, or maybe there's gonna be more in the future or something, I don't know. But hey, I'm back, and that's all that counts. So I've been here for around 2 and a half months now, more or less. To further my studies, to gain exposure, to gain knowledge. And it's no cakewalk, that is for sure. It's so much different compared to little old Malaysia. Little dusty, slow-moving Ipoh. I miss the days when I can just wake up to a lazy morning, laze around for a bit, then do my daily stuff. Slowly, at my own pace. Days here, they're just so much different. Every single day is so packed with stuff, every single day so quick and tiring. I miss home, that's for sure. Strange, how human beings always tend to miss things that they've lost, and took for granted in the past right? But that's just how things are. Without loss, we won't comprehend the joy of gaining something, without sorrow, there won't be happiness. It's all just about bringing ourselves to a state of equilibrium.

Since I've been here, I've learned so much more about almost every aspect of life, more or less. Especially independence. Back home, if anything goes wrong, say, you get sick or something, even without friends, there's always home. Sweet, warm, home. When mommy or daddy would be by our side when we were sick, bring us to the doctor, and fetch us warm stuff and all that. Y'know, home. We had something to depend on-our parents. But life away from home, oh wow, it's spanking new and all, but damn. It's no-place like home. Funny huh, how I've always wanted to leave Malaysia to live and all, but now that I'm here. Oh wow. Home's sanctuary. I can't believe I took for granted, those days that were spent in so much serenity and in all it's slow-movingness, that little old town called Ipoh.

Remember everyday, back then? When we were still in high school, we gathered around each other's classes after recess, or even during lessons, that we'd do this, do that and stuff, right after high school. That we can't wait to leave that horrid place. But now, I don't know about the others,dear blog, but I miss high school so much. Even with all it's annoying rules and probably some people, it's one helluva place. I've made so many awesome friends there, and I can't be anymore happier. I miss the comfort of my hometown. It's still kinda hard to believe, even until today, that my high school chapter's over and done with. That I'm embarking on a new journey now, to the next page of the little book called life. My life. It still feels like a holiday, right now. These days in Taiwan. Except that it's more of an academically-based holiday here. With books. Lots of books. And stress. And stuff that you'd normally get when you're about to sit for an apocalyptic exam that'll decide the fate of you and your family's well-being in the future. Yeah. That's the exact kinda stress I'm facing here every bloody day. It's excruciating, really. But hey, since I'm here, might as well give it my all, right? My utmost, in fact. But it's just not enough.

Which leads me to think, why the hell is life so unfair? We've been had since we were born. "Fairness" is nothing but a damned lie, and everything that we've been taught that is fair, isn't one bit fair at all. Remember the times when you went to the playground as a kid, and there are other toddlers there playing with the equipment and stuff? Yeah? Remember not being able to play cause they're all occupied by those scrubs? Remember how frustrating was it all? Of course you do. And then, your mom or dad would be all, oh it's okay..we can come next time. So, wait. Whatever is it that happened to "fairness"? We're all kids, we're all young, we're all nasty, but why the hell couldn't you get into the swings? Or play see-saw? Cause you were late? Is that what mommy or daddy told you? Well that's not the point. The point's cause it's not fair. It's not fair that they were there first. Everybody should have the same starting point, but in life, we sooner or later realize, that in fact, everybody's starting point is different. If you somehow or rather found someone that starts at the same point as you do, run. Why? Cause you've probably met a doppelgänger. Your doppelgänger. And that's just batshit insane, and downright impossible.

So what the hell, is everything unfair? Why yes, Watson, yes it is. Remember during a school exam, you were getting your ass whooped by the #1 guy? Yeah? Well, he may be the same age as you are, but why is he smarter? Is it cause he studied harder? I can hear a dozen "Yes's" coming from parents already. But no, that's hardly it. Are you absolutely sure that they're not maybe smarter than you are? As in, born with a higher IQ than you? How bout the rich and the poor? Poverty won't be an issue if there lies equilibrium in the society-if there's "fairness" in the world. Why do people don't have to try as hard as some do, but yet they can achieve great heights? And what for do we study? We all go down the same road anyways, and that's death. It's a one-way ticket we've acquired since we were born, willingly, or not. We all die in the end, so what for do we, humans strive for every single day? When at the end of it all, we'll all be six feet under. It's not fair. Nothing ever really is.

It's been so long I've had my masks switching about.
I'm actually quite lost, that's why I'm blogging-mindless musings and ramblings actually.
I'm trying to translate my thoughts into beacons that'll hopefully bring me back on track.
I feel like giving up.
I think I'm losing it more and more, day by day.
I think that perhaps life isn't worth living after all that trouble and hassle.

But I'll keep smiling.
And I won't look back.
I'll find my way,
just like everybody else.

I hope.

Alternate Realities

2010-07-25T00:47:00.001+08:00

Another Saturday, another bloody Saturday.
How many Saturdays have we been through this year, me and myself?
And it's already July.
Less than a month left to trials.
And to think, a few dozen Saturdays ago, I started this year fresh, without much crap in my mind.
Amazing how easily things change in 7 months.
But still, some things don't change that easily hmm.
Like personalities, and some people I know. Still same-old, same-old.
People have fun, have kickass memories with each other, if happy feelings can be relived, that exact amount of happiness, that precise volume of joy, injected into us, like before. If only.

Tick-tock, tick-tock.
Clock's ticking, it doesn't wait for anything at all-not me, not you. Nothing.
It keeps moving along.
If only I can be like a clock-moving along with each and every passing tick, and not trying to stay rooted in a single moment. where my whole world revolves around each and every move you make, each and every scent that I pick up, everything, that I felt. It's so hard, moving on. Nothing else happened after that, only a vortex of my own sweet-hell. I'm always reliving every single blink of the happiest day of my life, and yet, I wake up. To find reality staring at me through its fierce, cold eyes. Merciless.
Reality told me with its eyes, that I'm nothing to you; nothing to anyone at all. Won't make a bloody difference, whether I'm here or not, right now. Won't turn no heads, if I drove a knife through my heart. Won't make a difference at all.

I averted my gaze away from Reality, and looked to my left.
I see a white, broken room. A single painting, hung on the wall-an extravagant painting, that portrays a girl, with an unreal, pretty smile. The walls and floor of the room, once-beautiful white tiles, decaying, falling apart, bit by bit. The window was decorated with wilting roses, poisoned, in an eerie shade of black. Cold wind blew from outside of the little window, its' ripped curtains moved slightly; ghostly. Beyond the window, a wallpaper of white. A boy, weeping silently as he squatted on top of a bed, at the corner of the room. A bed without sheets, without pillows, without anything. Messy, unkempt hair, face down, a patch of the bed in front of him, wet..frozen. The painting of the girl was untouched. It remains beautiful, as if it was drawn by skilled hands, magnificently creating a contrast between the room it's placed in. Sadly, no matter how perfectly detailed the painting was..there was no title. The painter couldn't bargain the right words to correctly depict the drawing of the girl. He left a letter on the bottom right corner of the illustration, first letter, J. There was another letter; blurred, beyond identification. Everything, but the painting was frosty, silenced.

A different Saturday, but a familiar ache.
Breaking, is probably what the heart's for.

Through it all

2010-07-17T00:05:00.000+08:00

I find so much to be nuisances. Way, too much.

Especially people. They're just so annoying.

Don't you feel like just shooting all of them down, one head at a time. And then laugh about it. Maniacally.

And get your ass thrown into jail. Hah.

Life's been life, I managed to not get online for about a week, and am frickin' proud of it.

Been studying, but its still not enough, nowhere close to where am I supposed to be in my studies.

Wasted so much time crappin' around, and now I've immense amounts of shit stockpiled right in front of me, the mess wants me to clear it up, not that I've a choice or anything though.

They say a person chooses his or her future, but that statement's a lil bit off.

A really good example would be National Service.

It's either you get chosen, or not. You've no say in it.

There are just lots of stuff that isn't in your control, get what I mean?

Variable factors, things like the weather, you can't expect it to be always rainy right? Factors like people.

It's so amazing, how a single individual can make such a monumental impact on our lives, eh.

Friends who are "there for us", the hi-bye acquaintances, the random people.

It's good, to have lots of people that revolves around us, but when things get hairy, those are the times when you have to really take a damn look at these people who claim to be whoever the hell they are in your lives. Behind that mask, chances are, you'll see grotesque beings, and not the person you think he or she was. Not that perfect, not that brilliant as you thought. At that moment, you'll know that evaluation result you got towards a person-which you thought you figured out right, was actually wrong. People are not what they seem to be. Environmental factors play a huge part in both mental and physical change. People, change. Everything change, some things that you think will change, though, may not.

hings like feelings.

Strong emotions towards a certain event, a certain person, or a certain moment of this huge merry-go-round ride that we're all in. Life. There are just some picture-perfect moments, heart-shattering scenes, or frames of intense sadness that we're bound to witness. Things that we don't like, tend to happen waaay more than things that we like. Why, you ask? It's really simple. Happy moments won't be exactly happy, if it didn't happen at times where you least expect it, or when you really need it, right? Sad moments on the other hand, are of abundance. Why? Sad moments' sole purpose is to make our lives miserable, that might be what everyone's thinking, but think of it this way, the sad moments you've accumulated deep down in your soul are actually preparing you for significant happy moments-to amplify the joy that you're about to receive, or give.

Thoughts like this keep me ticking, they help me hold on to my sanity.

Through events that just make you weep so hard, to the point that you thought you're in some aquarium, when everything just seems so depressingly wrong, will you be the happiest, if there were joy.

Through events that make you doubt yourself, will you learn the most.

I know, I'm blogging like some ancient philosophist, but hey, can't blame me right. I think I should express it all so that I'll stop suffocating in my own blackness.

Anyhow, yeah. Life. Makes you wonder, really. Of what'll happen and all that.

National Service, stop whining, people. It's so sickening, looking at all that shit on Facebook.

Facebook's another place to waste yourself away "socializing". So what if you tripped and fell, so what if you ate a purple apple, so what if you got chosen for National Service. Nobody gives a mind bout it. So just shut up. And it's not like you're some uprising rockstar or anything. Publicity? Hah. Idiots.

And German scientists actually figured out the chicken came before the egg! Finally, after so long.

William Teh's birthday party's tomorrow, and I don't think I'll be able to make it, sorry. :/

But still, Happy Birthday, man! :) Hope you'll have a blast tomorrow.

Bye, Kian Seng.

2010-07-08T23:05:00.002+08:00

Ahh, I didn't really wanna post this, it feels a bit gay.

But meh, I'll just do it.

So like they say, fish gotta swim, birds' gotta fly,

it's a part of life, don't ask why,

it's just a part of life, don't sigh,

instead, be happy, that things happened, don't cry,

have a pie,

and hope that they live high,

wherever they may be.

LOL. Not too bad right. Made this in what, 10mins? Heh.

An acquaintance of mine, Kian Seng, will be leaving this sleepy little town tomorrow, and I spent quite a day with him earlier today, along with our friends, Jonathan Loke, Hui Zen, Grace Loh, William Teh, Joel, Teoh & Pauline.

I consider him as a friend, although we've only went out a measly few times since we first knew each other.

Convos through MSN were what we did to keep in touch with each other.

But still, a friend's a friend. And it's quite rare that you'd get a friend that's as smart as he is, no doubt bout that, I know I'm flattering the guy, but hey, it's only the truth. He is smart.

If only we were in the same school, I'd get to know you more so I can write more here. LOL!

But hey, from those convos and stuff that we had, I'd say you're an amazing guy, albeit kinda annoying at times. I really enjoyed those vulgaring, bullshiting and stuff with you on msn, just so you know. Heh. Hope we'll be able to keep in contact, man. :)

And with this, I wish you all the best in New Zealand!

Bye, Kian Seng. I'll miss ya.
And keep smiling aite. ;)

Only One

2010-07-01T21:59:00.000+08:00

Hey blog, hey whoever's reading this.

So I read something that caught my attention yesterday, I'll paste the article here.

Humans to go extinct in 100 years, scientist predicts

PhysOrg.com, an online science news service, reports that distinguished Australian scientist Professor Frank Fenner has predicted that humanity would likely meet its end within a century.

Fenner cited overpopulation, environmental destruction and climate change as the primary factors which will drive mankind into extinction.

Professor Fenner's voice is important and well-regarded because of his instrumental role in the global eradication of smallpox. He has had a life-long interest in environmental issues, and is a recipient of many illustrious awards, including the WHO (World Health Organization) medal.

Perhaps infinitely more worrisome is Fenner's confidence that the situation is irreversible. While there are currently efforts to grapple with those issues, he asserted that we are beyond the point of no-return due to the magnitude of these effects we have had on Earth since the Industrial Age. He said they have come to rival the impact of ice ages or comet crashes.

The professor noted that while climate change is only at its infancy, it will probably be the force behind our extinction. He also predicted that Earth's ever-increasing population will result in more violent conflicts over food and other resources.

Yep. Hah. It's unimaginable, really. All this culture, all the personalities, and all the music. Being turned into nothing but a distant memory, into space ash. It's sad, really. It's hard to accept too, so it's actually our responsibility right now to stop using the aircond and blahblahblah you know where I'm getting to. You can try in futile, or enjoy the rest of your frickin' life to the max, ignoring what's gonna happen after you perish. I'd do that. Hell yeah I will. There's no point in sacrificing yourself for others, do they give a damn? Do they appreciate it? No, they don't. Nobody ever does. So what for.

Anyways, "Broken this fragile thing now.. And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces.." Sound familiar? Yes? No? It's Only One, by Yellowcard. Old, yeah, but masterpiece, nonetheless. Okay I've no idea what am I gonna keep typing here, it's all probably gonna be crap that'll waste your time, so why not I share a few pics instead.

I'd kiss you, in the pouring rain.

I'll be by your side,

and hold you, whenever thunder strikes.

Be with you, whenever you may need me.

Whenever,

& always.

Please, don't stop the rain.

Reach Out

2010-06-22T22:05:00.001+08:00

So school reopened, I got an extra one day off cause of my aunt's wedding,
girls are still crazy over korean stuff,
and I got greeted by horrifying exam results.
Horrifying.
And god, it's the frickin' mid year exams, I'm still doing so bad.
And trials is what, only a few more weeks away?
Parents' Day is on next month, and it's just preposterous that I'm still here, blogging this while listening to Maroon 5.
It's during times like this when I feel that I've wasted oh so much time before, and it's catching up on me, the whole dramatic study thing. It doesn't feel like a drama though, it feels real. That if I don't study, I'd be a blue collared worker for the rest of my life, trying to not succumb to the realities of life.
I mean, it's just reality, nothing more. You achieve something right now, you'll achieve something in the future.
What's happening right now-the people that are leading the scoreboards, and topping exams after exams are probably gonna be doing the same thing in the future-they're probably gonna the ones who're at the top of the food pyramid, and whoever's still struggling behind will fall, sooner or later.
It's all in theory, but hey, even gambling's based on theory.
Theoretically, as long as one gambles, the chances of one winning, will be there, indefinitely.
Theoretically, as long as one does not gamble, the chances of falling into bankruptcy, will be almost 0%.
Theoretically, as long as you study and achieve something right now, you'd be at the top of your game at about 10~20years from now.
But that's just all in theory, oh how I wish life's all about theory.
Things happen, you may gamble 800,000 times on lotteries, or at the casino, you still may not win, at all.
Things happen, you may not gamble, but a sudden depression in your workplace disrupted the course of your potential success in the future, and you somehow get caught in between, losing all your possessions.
Things happen, you may be a perfect achiever right now, and may still meet up with so many different types of circumstances, that you ended up with only half of what you think you'd get.

Things happen.
I know by saying all this, its indirectly saying that "Damn, then why the hell am I studying right now? Might as well let fate take its toll, yes?"
Well, it's kinda true, if you think about it.
Even rocket scientists may have kids with a certain defect.
You never know.
Life's a huge roulette, you'll never know what's gonna happen, until it does.
What I'm trying to say is, you've gotta get your insurance, have a back-up plan, and just go for it.
Don't let people discourage you, if you're confident in what you're about to do isn't far-fetched.

Hah. Now that's one helluva optimistic post. Haven't done anything except for those messed up posts, I figured its time to motivate myself, and those who gives a shit. So, yeah, what's that insurance we're looking for? It's to study. Hard. No point being optimistic if you're not gonna do anything. Take the initiative, and try to set things right. If you're gonna have wishful thinking and leave it that way, then you're just being a fool. It's all dreams and fantasies right now, but I think it's time for some of us to wake up and face the reality.
You're not gonna be sulking cause you failed a certain subject forever,
if it helps, sure why not.
But it doesn't.
That's why, we've gotta do something about it.
It, being whatever it is that is bothering you at the moment,
not being able to face a certain someone to compose that song you made for her,
not being able to get your lazy ass into that chair and start studying,
not being able to find someone that you can express your feelings to.
We've gotta find a way, no matter what.
And hope everything turns out okay, after you've tried your best-everything's said and done.

And put on a damn smile when you're doing whatever.
Nobody can make you feel happy, only you can.
Cause smiles are magical. Don't leave home without them.
Oh and Happy Birthday, Kher Shin!

Free Your Mind

2010-06-15T14:52:00.003+08:00

It's Tuesday, the second week of the June holidays.
So what've I been up to? Alright, here goes.

Last Sunday,
I went to Starwalk 2010, with Teoh, Hong Nian, Jojo, Loong and Alice. Woke up after about 3hrs of sleep the night before, and was feeling really crappy. The amount of people was whoa, and it was only about 6 when I took this.

Anyway, the walk itself was okay, not really tiring. Adrian joined us halfway through the race with Ryan. He crapped bout lots of stuff, I think we were making the most sound during the walk. Had breakfast, then went to Jusco for a movie after that with three of them. It actually took us an hour to get a cab, and the movie wasn't exactly nice either. It's a chinese, singapore movie called Happy-Go-Lucky.

It's about this girl, going from unlucky to bag-of-cash-falling-from-the-sky lucky. Yeah.

Last Wednesday/Thursday,
Went to Genting Highlands with Jojo, Annie, Emily, Tekyi, Bryan C. and Wilson. Gathered at MGS's entrance, and took a van with the girls at about 7 in the morning. Reached and stayed up at Hotel Resort at about 11 after the guys reached. Lucky we weren't living in Ria Apartment or some other places that are rumored to be haunted, that'll suck. They say Genting's the most haunted place in Malaysia, but it's not like it affects much. Went to the outdoor theme park for almost the whole day, and walked around after dinner at this food court. Outdoor theme park wasn't exactly fun, we only managed to play 2 rides, but only 1 for Emily, she was too afraid to go on the Corkscrew despite all of us waited for about an hour, due to the rain. Honestly, it was actually so humid, it was hot until the rain saved our asses. Spaceshot and Corkscrew were great nonetheless. Walked around at night, and we decided to watch A-Team at 1.30am. Chilled at a Starbucks joint before that, walked around even more and stuff. Wanted to go for Go-Kart but it was raining, so yeah. Ended up going on a slow car ride with the guys. Time was passing by at a mellow rate, but we somehow managed to stay up till movie time.

A-Team was pure win, I bet almost all of us were at the edge of our seats, except for Annie, throughout the movie. It's a definite must-watch! Went back to our hotel room after that, it was about 3.30 that time, and we weren't about to hit the sacks yet.

I think I woke up the next day by Annie, it was about 10.15 when I did, ended up, we got about 5hrs worth of sleep, luckily nobody was grumpy that morning. Took everyone till 11.30 before we went down to the reception to check-out. Had brunch, walked around, played the superman thing with Annie, and everyone decided to go to the Genting Capcom Station at Hotel Gentng while Tekyi and I got lost cause of the confusing signboards. And he was so sure he knows the way as well. Lol. We hung around this place near some apartments, the view and weather were breathtaking. We joined the others shortly after that. Went to this place near the carpark outside with Tekyi and the girls, hung around for a bit, enjoying the soft breeze that was perusing our skins, till little droplets came down onto our heads that we went back in. Tekyi and I went to the other guys at Kopitiam, meeting Terrance and his friend. Terrance shared some stuff with us, and that was when I realized some things just aren't what they seem to be like, more often that not, there's bound to be filth in the beauty.

The van arrived shortly after that, and we bid silent goodbyes to the two days in Genting. All that I'll miss will be the weather. It's such a boring place if you're not doing the slots at the casino. But overall, it's okay. Made our way down, after reaching Ipoh, Wilson and I got dropped at this bus station, I went to Swimming Club to meet up with my family after that for dinner. Rong, as usual had stuff to share with me, so yeah. Halfway through, I got a phonecall. That was when my mood took a huge turn, explaining the post you guys saw.
Pictures are on Tekyi's Facebook profile.

Sunday morning, England vs. USA was so stupid. USA lucked out, 'nuff said.

Monday,
Went out the whole day, met Gim Heng at Tesco while my grandparents shopped for the guests. That was when I saw lots of football-related crap all over the place. I decided to take a few pictures.

Please, how stupid can people get nowadays?

And here I am today,
Inside my dark, little room,
with my bag of wafer cubes, a playlist full of serenity,
and a head filled with thoughts, blogging my memories away.
Life,
it truly makes you wonder how will events unfold,
one day you're upbeat and living life to the fullest hoping that happy things will last,
only to find yourself six feet under on a gloomy day.
Things change, people change.
Circumstances change.
Situations, choices, impacts.
They play a big part in this little roulette,
whatever happens next, happens.
You cannot possibly hope to stop something from happening,
if you somehow think you can, congratulations, you've lost your mind.
You can only smile, and hope for the best outcome, whatever it may be.
Cast doubts & misfortunes aside,
and hope,
that everything turns out the way things should be.

Halfway There

2010-06-05T02:56:00.000+08:00

Mid year exam's over, the June holidays are starting,
it seems like things are finally starting to look up,
Seems like.

There are lots of outings and stuff for the hols, but even after 11 days of exams, everything's reopened, late night dota sessions and all that, I still can't find what I lost,
what did I lose?
I've no idea, but it's definitely something I used to cherish.
Maybe it's an ability,
or a certain emotion.
I don't know.

It's like I don't care about anything anymore, expressions, are only tips of bigger things,
but thing is, I can't even express myself properly.
What's wrong with me.
It's not that I don't wanna talk about it,
It's not that I'm beyond repair.
It's just..
I don't know where to start,
what I did wrong,
what's happening right here, right now.
I don't make sense, do I.

Guess I never did.
Sighing's the only thing I can do.
I took a peek at this list of depression symptoms earlier,
I've got 8/15. Halfway there.

I seriously, seriously need to get things off my shitty mind.
I don't like my emotions.
I don't like my brain.
I don't like me.

It's so hard to express yourself, unlike in songs, you can just sing everything you want out without a thought, and you can enjoy the process. But expressing yourself in normal terms means speaking, voicing out, with words, actions, but what if you just cannot? I know what I'm saying right now's very abstract, and you guys probably lost interest halfway through a post like this, wondering 'the hell's my problem, posting shit like this again. Well, if I knew, I won't be here now would I.
Stupid, stupid me.

But who cares.
It's the hols! Things should be upbeat, fun and wild.
I'll try.

Walking Alone

2010-06-01T22:50:00.001+08:00

Walking Alone
I'm tired of trying to sail this
Troubled boat again
Trying hard to find a way
For though blows me all the same
And I'm tired of holding on
When there's nothing more to gain
I'd rather stand here on the dock
And watch it all just sail away

This sail has no wind
The wind has no sea
The sea has no shore anymore

I'm walking these streets all by myself
I know its my fault, and no one else
And there's nobody here to save me
I'm walking alone
And if I look lonely, that's alright
Cause I'm the only one left in my life
And there's no one to save me
I'm walking alone

In a word that lives in graces
I'm a grain amongst the sand
I never took the time to get to know
The person that i am
And maybe I was just caught up
Up in the race and so I'd run
And i hadn't even stop
To see the man that I've become
Dont you know

This sail has no wind
The wind has no sea
My sea has no shore anymore

I'm walking these streets all by myself
I know its my fault, and no one else
And there's nobody here to save me
I'm walking alone
And if I look lonely, that's alright
Cause I'm the only one left in my life
And there's no one to save me
I'm walking alone

It ain't like it's over, I haven't thrown it all away
And i won't just stop living over my own mistakes
And i just needed time for a moment to stand
So that I can just see who it is that I am

I'm walking these streets all by myself
I know its my fault, and no one else
And there's nobody here to save me
I'm walking alone
And if I look lonely, that's alright
Cause I'm the only one left in my life
And there's no one to save me
I'm walking alone

I'm walking these streets all by myself
I know its my fault, and no one else
And there's nobody here to save me
I'm walking alone
And if I look lonely, that's alright
Cause I'm the only one left in my life
And there's no one to save me
I'm walking alone

Another masterpiece, by Jay Sean.
The song's amazing beyond description.
Oh and, it's so stupid, I'm better at Addmaths than Modmaths when everyone says Modmaths is easy nuts.
I effin disagree.
I think I kinda flunked my Modmaths earlier today, way to go for a new blog post huh.
Anyway, I realize my blog's kinda quiet, I added a whole playlist worth of awesome songs, and hey, don't go clicking on the pause button alright, I didn't get it up just to annoy you people, take it as ear candy, thanks.
Sides, all of the music suits my moods.
And and, Walking Alone's inside the playlist, so yeah, pause it, and you don't get to listen to pure awesomeness.
Enjoy! (at least try to, alright.)

Back to mugging chemistry for tomorrow, bye.

Bye, May

2010-05-31T23:29:00.001+08:00

Soooo. It's the last day of May, last week of the mid year exams,
and also, one week to the June holidays!
Yay? Nay, why?
It marks the end of half the term,
and also that much closer to Ass Pee Emme.
And what's worse?
I don't think I know much, and theres only a few more months before the showdown.
Let's have a reality check, shall we?

Question #1:
How many A's are you aiming for SPM?
As many as possible.

Question #2
Do you think you'll be able to achieve good grades?
No, I honestly don't think so.

Question #3
So what should you do about it?
Stop procrastinating, and study.

Question #4
Are you doing it?
No.. not to my full extent.

Question #5
Therefore?
I should study. Hard.

Yes, that's my aim.
I've been doing it, not really hard, hard, but you get the picture.
Life's been.. not too bad recently,
I'm still coping with all the bitter-sweetness of life,
disappointments, negative thoughts, pressure, reality, the dull moments of life;
colorful moments, happy thoughts, funny text messages, and all that.
It all just happens.

Things change with the flow of time,
But some things remain unchanged, things like personalities,
the weather, me-trying to move on, the way Sean Kingston's music always starts with, "SOMEBODY CALL 911."
Ever wonder what the hell's with some singers, like Timbaland, what's with trying to get a girl to talk to you at the start of each and every damn song? "Talk to me, girl."
Shit, I mean yeah, we get it, you want a girl to talk to you. K, got it. You can stop repeating that now.
..y'know? some things just keep on playing and playing, like a spoilt radio, tuned into this 70's radio station, playing The Beetles, over and over again without end.
It's so frustrating, knowing you can't change some things.
Trying to uproot laziness, whoa, that's indeed a task.
Changing that requires miracles, and people, it's indeed time, for miracles.
Miracles like,

yeah, you WISH. :D

Phucking lame, I KNOW.

Modmaths II, Bio I & III tomorrow, ugh.

and Happy Birthday, Joey Chun!

Bye, May.
And hello June, please don't be a shitty month.

清醒着一再续杯

2010-05-28T00:12:00.002+08:00

我终于都明白，
之前我一直在自己脑中说是笨蛋的那些人的感受。

真的，我已在尝试往前走，
但不知搞什么的，就是很难很难。
我早已在强逼自己，但就是没如口头上表示得如此简单，如此容易。
难道想忘记一个人真的如此的艰难吗？
难道想抛弃这段关于你的回忆真的如此艰苦吗。
唉。
真不懂我想干嘛，
真笨，
明知我根本没机会，
明知你不会去理会。

但我还笨笨的爱着你。

还真的不懂我到底想干嘛。

To Smile & Hope For The Best

2010-05-25T20:10:00.003+08:00

Here's another update.

Thursday, one day before the midyear exams.

Tekyi.

Wilson & Bryan C.

Saturday, all over Sunway Pyramid.

My bro.

Mommy.

Uncle Kenneth.

It was about 1am, texting, and this song played. Yeah, I feel you.

Sunday, Mid Valley's HK food joint, forgotten what's the name.

Second day of mid year exams.

My doodling, there's lots more behind the question paper,

I'm lazy to slowly take pics and all, so yeah.

So it's the mid year exams, third day, and I'm still alive.

English earlier was horrific, I've no inspiration to write anything.

It's Addmaths and History tomorrow,

I doubt I'll be able to live to tell the tale of how badly I flunked.

But hey, when shit happens, we move along.

Like I did, I'm still at it, but I think I'm making good progress.

Anyways, think I should continue studying, it's just that, ah, I don't know what's wrong, but I can't get the facts into my brain, I keep asking myself, what's wrong? What's keeping me from studying properly and getting all that into my 5kb-sized brain? I've no answer to that question. I've been sincerely trying and trying, for the whole day, alone at Starbucks, at home, with that miserable History reference book, but to no avail. What's up with my brain, I really wonder. Probably it needs an upgrade, say, I don't know, I need Dexter's mind or something. Maybe I'm just not cut out for studying, maybe I'll be sweeping the streets in the future, singing Viva la Vida or something.

But what I learned, is to not stop believing.

I know it sounds all corny and shit, but hey, it's more or less the truth,

if you keep believing, miracles happen, but of course, you can't be "believing" that you can achieve something too far away right? Which is why we need to help ourselves, by studying, and not just believing, it's bullshit if you don't put things to action, I KNOW. But sometimes it's just so demoralizing, studying, but not being able to concentrate and all.

Responsibilities and shit. Life.

Just remember,

to smile and hope for the best. :)

Thanks For The Memories

2010-05-21T20:30:00.000+08:00

Thanks, for giving hope and everything.
But mostly, the memories.
If only,
if only I can choose what to keep, what to burn,
what to experience.
Oh well.
Life goes on,
and I'd be stupid trying to hold on eh.
Perhaps this was all stupid to begin with.
Perhaps the problem was me all along.
Maybe all those tears were meant for myself,
for being so stupid.
*Laughs*

Thanks, for the memories.

Teachers' Day

2010-05-18T01:02:00.001+08:00

wasn't too bad.
15 bucks for some nice catering, creds to my class treasurer.
Paparich's Papa Mocha is waaay too sweet.
Fruitti Fruit's yogurt is crazy nice, price is..okay, I guess.
Didn't really study today, but yeah, had fun with Teoh, Jo and Annie at De Gardens.
And I was supposed to go for Addmaths tuition, but I took a 2hr nap cause Bryan said it was canceled. Woke up to find chaos in my phone.

Bye,
I know that text message earlier wasn't only meant for me,
But hey, at least you gave a damn.
Its just not meant to be, I guess.

Oh and, I'm addicted to two of Jay Chou's new songs,
說了再見 & .我落淚。情緒零碎
The titles will prolley get changed after the official launching date,
but yeah.

Pictures, Imperfect

2010-05-16T22:40:00.004+08:00

Pictures speak.
Or at least I think so.

Mothers' Day.

Addmaths tuition.

Library.

Tenby.

Gopeng performance, earlier today.

People:
Annie, Mom, Dad, Aunt Kah Yee, Addie, Joeger, Teoh, Ms. Fam, Louis, Mei Rong, Hui Yee(?), Chloe, Vivian, and this guy, i forgotten his name.

Updates?

I chopped my hair off.
Addmaths make me wanna die.
I'm sick of playing Taylor Swift on my guitar.
If I could, I'd turn the clock around.
Moving on.

That would be it.
Life.
Hah.

情非得已

2010-05-15T01:51:00.001+08:00

I've been crying for the past 15mins.

It's all thanks to a song, called 情非得已 that Teoh shared with me earlier.

难以忘记初次见你
一双迷人的眼睛
在我脑海里
你的身影
挥散不去
握你的双手感觉你的温柔
真的有点透不过气
你的天真
我想珍惜
看到你受委屈
我会伤心
只怕我自己会爱上你
不敢让自己靠的太近
怕我没什么能够给你
爱你也需要很大的勇气
只怕我自己会爱上你
也许有天会情不自禁
想念只让自己苦了自己
爱上你是我情非得已
什么原因
我竟然又会遇见你
我真的真的不愿意
就这样陷入爱的陷阱

I'm trying to stop, really.

But the thoughts of you just won't let me.

It's been so long since I've cried this hard.

I think the last time was during chinese new year, because of you too.
this time,

tears fall down uncontrollably,

because of a girl's text message.

Because she said she doesn't believe that I really like her that much.
and a song that triggered everything.

I don't know how to express myself further,

I'll let my tears do the talking for me.

Happy Mother's Day!

2010-05-10T00:01:00.002+08:00

Happy Mother's Day, mom.

Thanks for being such an awesome one for the past 17 years of my life.
And to all the moms out there for giving birth to these amazing people that revolves around my life.
But especially mine and Jean Yenn's. :D

Goodnight, world.

Arrivederci

2010-04-21T17:11:00.004+08:00

It means until we meet again, if you're wondering.
I'm leaving.

Bye, people.
It was fun while it lasted.

Très Bien

2010-04-19T14:45:00.002+08:00

Hello, it's 33minutes past 12pm, with a mixture of flavors like Metal and R&B. I just woke up, thanks to a pretty girl that got me chatting with her till 3am last night, and I still feel drowsy. By the way, why is today a holiday? I think it's some big shot's birthday, I've no idea, as long as I won't get monday blues at home. *smiles*

So you guys realize how hot is it recently? I mean like freakishly oven-hot hot. Damn. And I heard from my parents that there are signs of volcanic activity all over the globe, at first I was like, oh c'mon, we don't have volcanoes in Malaysia, until I remember the closest place that has live volcanoes, is not far away from us, and remember idk how long ago there were haze and stuff? Yeah, it was caused by forest fires. Where? Indonesia. Lol. That country's poor, has lots of environmental hazards that affect the counties around it BUT has lots of nice food I THINK? I've never been to Indonesia so yeah, idk. Oh and most maids come from that country. Thumbs up to that as well. Guess that's the reason why hasn't the other countries decide to bomb the place straight to hell yet huh.......well of course I'm joking.

Anyways, back to the volcano issues, okay, so look, why're there volcano eruptions? Okay well it's been 2 years since Geography, but it's cause of the earth's crust and yadi yadi yada. You guys know right. Okay, so if the earth's crust moves in such a way that volcanoes erupt, what'll accompany it? Here's a hint: they're huge, tall, destructive, and comes from the seafloor. And no, I'm not talking bout Godzilla. -.-

....I'm talking bout tsunamis that can reach like. 1234565ft. high and 1311km into the land. And what accompanies all this? Earthquake, I mean like duh, if the earth's moving like that, earthquake naturally happens as well. And from volcano eruptions what will one get? Volcanic ash/dust, molten lava. Volcanic dust is poisonous, and molten lava will melt even frickin' Ironman to moltenman. HAHAHAHAAH. .....okay fine so maybe it's lame. :/

So if you people don't get it yet,

here's the equation,

Survival:
Volcanic dust + Molten lava + Tsunami + Earthquake + Diseases + Heat = <40%

Lol, we're doomed. It's just a matter of how long till then.

Maybe 2012 will really be the end, maybe not. Who knows? But then, what if 2012 isn't the end of humanity? Those that started slacking, drinking and doing whatever they wanted to, and not doing what they SHOULD be doing would be fucked. LOL.

But it'll be the best 2 years of their lives, wouldn't you agree? :p

So what should I be doing right now, isn't just trying to live out everyday, what should I be doing right now would actually be studying my balls off, until maybe one day before what, 21st December 2012? They've probably predicted that date by then, when everything crumbles and falls. I'd be living life my way that time. Heh. I'd probably tell everything I wanted to tell to people, my friends or whoever, taking risks like diving off a plane without parachutes on, and going into the Bermuda Triangle. OR. I'll just kick back, relax with my buds, and have my last day lived just like that. I wouldn't mind, really.

Anyways, yeah. I'd like a holiday in my life right about now, let everything come to a pause, for perhaps, a few days.

Liberate my mind of all the thoughts, gimme a starlit, moonless night sky, an apple tree, and lemme just lie there under it by myself, in the middle of an orchard just looking at the stars, trying to figure out where's my horoscope pointing towards to, the sagittarius' arrow. I'd walk towards that direction, to wherever it may lead. I'll be ready to hit resume when I eventually reach my goal somewhere out there.

But until then, guess my little room would need to suffice.

All day, been staring at the ceiling, making friends with shadows on my wall. But they're not talking to me. Ignorant bastards.

Guess I'll just talk to myself.

MGS Pesta Ria

2010-04-12T23:23:00.001+08:00

Was two days ago, on a scorching Saturday morning.

A few pics, creds to Yin Jen's DSLR.

more here, from Yin Jen's camera: MGS Pesta Ria, by Yin Jen.
Met loads of people, got scammed like nuts all over the place, lots of stuff. I'm very lazy to elaborate, so this'll have to do.

Skipped guitar lessons to Ipoh Parade with the above people, Grace, William and Kian Seng. I hate taxi drivers at times, and the fact that I won't be able to drive till December. I was the last to leave, after getting dad a birthday present, some Nike tee. I'm now three digit poorer, and has a semi-hole burned through my wallet. lol. But it's worth it, looking at his happy face and all that after he saw the gift. ;)

Went to some restaurant at night to celebrate dad's birthday, nothing much that I think should be noted down here, except for this clip of Mei Rong playing Tekken.

[ okay I'll need to learn how to upload videos, google's messing with video posting. stay tuned! ]

Oh and.
I swear I'm just so bad in numbers, it's depressing.
And everyone's like, oh, Sam Tet people are good in maths!
Oh, chinese dudes are awesome in calculating.
Well I'm not. I suck in numbers.

I'm such a failure. Sigh.

Amusement

2010-04-08T23:14:00.000+08:00

Ever wonder if the world of the future, after all the ice melted and shit,
what would the world be like?

It's impossible for everyone on the earth to be on another planet by then.
Cause, see, even in the movie 2012, for technology that advanced, only people that are filthy rich could be guaranteed a slot in that arc.
And that's only temporary.
What if the world was engulfed in ocean water, 40,000 leagues deep?
What if the world's land was reduced to only a 200km wide/long mini continent?
It won't be haven, for all the land animals would be there, hoping for survival. How many can you shoot down, how many can you gun down selfishly just for the sake of YOUR survival? How many species would be extinct, thanks to you, humans.
Would humans evolve in years to come to be mermen and mermaids? lol.
It doesn't have to be that complicated, to grow a tail, scales, gills and a new respiratory system to adapt to all that circumstances would be stupid.
There are many more ferocious creatures lurking beneath the depths of the sea, you wouldn't be able to discover Atlantis, nor build an underwater utopia like Rapture.
So why not just accept fate, and die already.
Stop developing, stop solving, just stop.
and die.

Just some thoughts, don't mind me. lol.

Days've been the same. Everyday, the same usual routines.
Not even a lil bit of change,
not even a single teeny tiny little pinch of spice.
I can live though, being like this.
All I need: Music and my room.
Isolate me from the world outside, please.

Yawn.
I wonder will 2012 really be the end,
cause I sure hope so. lol.
I don't even want the world to be remade, or humans given a second chance to amend everything they did. Somethings just aren't fixable.

Friday, tomorrow.
One week's about gone, again.
Why do I even keep track, I wonder.

Easter

2010-04-04T21:57:00.011+08:00

wasn't that good.
hell, it's nowhere near good.
it's just like any other average Sunday, with painted eggs all over Ipoh, but not in my house.

It didn't rain afterall,
and I was sleeping, hoping that it'll be dark and stormy when I wake up, but the Sun just had to go all tyrant on the rain I love so much. Sigh.

So earlier I was watching this movie on astro, called Never Back Down.

It's about..fighting. Okay I don't know what else to add. It's all about fighting, fighting and more fighting. Uh. Okay well there's also moral values I guess, stuff like, we should never back down from whatever difficulties that appear to us. Yeah, something like that. Difficulties, or whatever it may be. Face them, don't always walk away from them, nothing can be solved that way. Okay so after digesting a bit of peanut butter sandwich, that's what I figured out. But hey, it's better than nothing right.

Oh and I realized there were a few pics in my phone, I guess I'll upload them along.

Pappa Rich.

My class.

My supper, the other night.

School tomorrow, sigh.

I hate Mondays, I wish we had a few weeks worth of holiday instead of that measly one week for march, I wish school isn't so stressful; heck I wish life isn't so stressful. I wish you know you're the best thing I never knew I needed.
I wish so many things'd change for the better, one way or another.

but life goes on.

Another

2010-04-04T01:42:00.002+08:00

So I just got off the phone, and after browsing through loads of random pics on Facebook, look at what I found,

-removed, its a disgrace to my blog-

Lol. This is fuckin' pathetic.
No wait, saying it's pathetic means cutting it some slack, this, is beyond pathetic.
The sad person who made this deserves to be burned alive, I'd say. Dumb bitch.
Words can't describe how retarded people nowadays can be. *facepalm*
But then again, you can't blame them, cause when you play DotA till the extent of agreeing to this, you won't even get a girlfriend. ;)

Anyways, Idk what to write bout that apology post, so uhhh. I'm sorry for leaving you hanging alright. Won't happen anymore. ;)
And it's Sunday again tomorrow. Sunday, bloody sunday. Hope it'll rain the whole day though. HEHEH. Sun oh sun, phuck off tomorrow, please. It may be Sunday, but screw you, It's only a name, not YOUR day. Stupid sun.
1.35am, school's on Monday, no spring break for me.
Oh and today, was the same as usual.
Why are things always the same, I wonder.

Time to hit the sacks, au revoir.
Oh and, HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEI LIP!

Good Friday

2010-04-02T21:53:00.001+08:00

So hello.

It's Friday, I mean, Good Friday.

I don't know what does it mean, for the christians out there, but to me, its just an extra day for me to rest and to kick back, relax. Well, today has been..the same. It's always the same, what I do everyday. I wake up, survive through the day, and go back to sleep, with a tinge of boredom here and there. I think it's good, in a way. Things are..peaceful, to say the least. If you're optimistic, it's very very good considering nothing's happening and everything remains the same, everything, remains ever so slow-paced. Mhmm. But if you're like me, you'd be both happy and somewhat..sad, considering it's my last year in high school, and there I was, sitting in my room, alone and not out there. Anyway.

Time's been moving forward ever so quickly, especially on the long-awaited hols. I was planning on going out today. I tried to walk out nonchalantly, but I got pulled back, by that leash my parents bounded me to. It relaxes only every once a month, and I wasn't sure that today could be stamped on my memory. In fact, I'm not sure whether any day I choose to go out will be a noteworthy day. I'm craving to get out of these walls that confine me, but I don't know where to go, I don't know why am I even going out..I don't see the point. Can someone humanely guide me back to the path I strayed away from? No.. nobody can. I'm happy living like this..I'm happy. Why aren't I? It's not like I need anything more in my life right? Yup...but then, why am I still feeling so..vacant? Beats me.

I've been bemused about all of this for the whole day, and yet, still clueless.

Whatever. Enough of this.

So I'll just write what happened today.

Been talking to Grace bout scores of random stuff today. And was the appeaser for two of my friends. They argued cause of DotA. Of all the stuff, a mindless game. Stupid people. I bet the both of them are still thinking they're right, and the other's wrong until now. Sigh. What for. They've been friends for a few years now I guess, and even a simple game gave that bond a stain.

Friends.. what are friends?

Friends, are people around us which we get to know and have fun with. I think that should define the term, but who knows? Who knows will your friends betray that trust that you bestowed on them or not? Who knows what will they do when you're not looking? Nobody. Friends, are more likely tools, that are used in many, many different ways. Namely, for entertainment. Friends brighten up our lives, but at the same time, who knows what obscurity lie behind that ostentatious scene? Nobody knows; Friends, are people who come and go, they're people who leave behind traces of picture perfect footprints on the gravel of our memory in their wake, or pitch blackness that will scar us emotionally. Friends.. I just don't know if they're important anymore, no offense to you people around me. I'm just.. clouded at the moment. Humanity just seems so..unsightly.

sigh.

2010-04-02T02:55:00.001+08:00

Happy April Fools Day!

Hope everyone had fun. ;)

I didn't, cause nobody pranked me.

Oh well, there's always next time, right.

Oh and, gonna hit the kill switch on my blog soon,

I just don't feel like blogging anymore.

(Okay fine so that was a lame prank attempt) -.- gah.

If I lay here,

lf I just laid here,

would you lie with me,

and forget the world?

March, 31st

2010-03-31T21:58:00.001+08:00

The last day of March.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Time flies and tomorrow's gonna be flippin' April already.

Sigh.

I don't wanna get my ass into April cause of all the events that'll be happening.
That, and cause April's another checkpoint to SPM.

Double sigh.

Lol I realize I've been sighing alot.
Like literally sighing, a LOT everyday.
I'm gonna be missing out on everything,
but it's not like anyone gives a damn right. lol.
So yeah, whatever.

Bye peaceful March, hi April, I know you're not here yet,
but I know it's not gonna be a nice month already.
Fuck you, April.

Live; Happy Birthday Grace!

2010-03-30T23:40:00.002+08:00

Wherever life takes you to, always have hope. Always think straight, think positive.
Lol. See, I know stuff. I know what to think, what to say and shit.
But how?
How to keep your mind positive all the time,
and be constantly motivated to actually study your balls off?
I still find that to be a mystery.

Perhaps something life changing, or some huge impact to the head that made the originally idiotic Einstein discover his theory of relativity, E = MC^2?
Or was it because of his mother who nagged him to hell when he was a teen-when his studies sucked? I don't know. It'll all remain unsolved; mysteries.
How can people be so motivated to do stuff at times?
How'd Henry Ting and Jovin See become so hopelessly hardworking?
How'd everyone around me started studying so much?
I know why.
It's simply because they want their futures to be brighter.
It's simply because they want to lead better lives next time.
It's simply because, they want something in the future, whatever it may be.
Or maybe they just felt like studying. lol.

To be honest, I know craploads of stuff. craploads.
When to talk, what to talk about; when to think, when not to.
When to study, what to study, how long should I study.
I know, I KNOW.
But I just can't do it.
Why?
I know why too.
It's cause I'm lazy. Why am I lazy? Am I really lazy? Or my focus ain't on studying right now?
I don't know. So there are things that are still blur to me.
Why, why, why.
I always ask myself. Why. Why does everyone know what they want in the future, what they wanna be, their aims, why do they know. Why.
I know why. It's because they really sat down one fine day, and thought about it.
Thought about what job would be the most profitable job, what job would be the least boring one, what job, would leaad them to success.
I know. But why, why can't I think like that? Phuck. Why.
Why'd I fall for you, of all people?
Why am I typing what am I typing right now?
Why am I not studying right now, but instead, blogging bout random issues?
Why don't I have the guts to do so many things?
Why can't I be so phuckin' smart that I know everything that's to know?
Why do I look so average when there are so many people out there who dazzle people with their looks alone?
Why aren't I as loved as so many other people are?
Why was I born in Malaysia, of all places?
Why. Why. Why. Why.

Why.

Actually. I know why. Somethings can't be chosen, somethings can't be changed. Somethings are meant to be in such a way that you, or me, or even frickin' Obama cannot change. Things like, love. Funny, funny emotion, that is. You cannot possibly choose, to not like someone, when you already have. You cannot possibly choose, not to be literally stupid, if you're born retarded. You cannot possibly choose, not to have disasters in life. You simply cannot. Somethings are just meant to be the way they are I guess.

Solution: Live high; live proud. Live life. Be proud of who you are. Be proud that you're unique in your own way, and everything right now, everything you see, everyone of your friends, every single moment with them, every single memory. Is something to be proud of, something that only you experienced. Something, that is yours. Make it last. Make it memorable. And live life. No point being negative all the time, when you look back in years to come, you wouldn't want unhappy memories right. So yeah. Live. Happily. :)

and.

H A P P Y 17th B I R T H D A Y , GRACE LOH!

Hope you had a blast today. :)

Stupid

2010-03-28T23:25:00.001+08:00

EDIT:

Maybe I wasn't being stupid afterall. lol.

Oh and I realize studying on normal days aren't that bad.
It's.. enjoyable, even.
HAHA. I managed to brainwash myself.
Yay.

Gonna be sleeping by 11pm every single day from now on,
and imma try to be like Henry/Jovin.
Slowly, but steady.

Dilemma

2010-03-27T20:51:00.003+08:00

No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
Boy, you know I'm crazy over you

No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
You know I'm crazy over you

The lyrics to one of the best R&B song of all time, Dilemma.
It's been stuck in my head since last night, when I was rummaging through my trillions of folders of music. I can relate to the chorus, all I think about is you, because, I really do. I've been thinking about you since Idk how many ages ago, and been thinking bout what to do, since a while back. Thing is, I've been trying to give up on doing something.

See, when you think it's time to back out from something, just do it. Don't think too much, there's no point in continuing in vain if everything ends up the wrong way. And right now-what I'm doing right now, I think all of it is going the wrong way. I maybe going paranoid again, but I just don't know. But then again there's no point if you know what's gonna happen in the end right, I know about that. I really do. It's just that, see, I'm kinda lost. There are no signs, at all that I'm going in the right direction. Not even a single hint. Nothing.

Sigh.
Maybe it's time I call it quits.
I tried.. maybe not hard enough, but I tried.
I'm done trying, if you want me in your life, please, a hint will do..

I don't wanna say goodbye; I can't.
I need you to tell me it's time I moved on.

Supper

2010-03-24T23:24:00.003+08:00

So people. I'm back for supper instead of dinner or lunch. lol.
Here's an update, I suddenly just felt like doing one.

So recently, nothing much has been happening in my life.
Alright so maybe there was, but I wasn't there for Karaoke with them people, instead I had to get confined within these walls, blah blah blah. Anyway.

Oh and to the loads of emo people out there, don't do cutting, it doesn't work. Thing bout cutting is. Either you do it completely, or don't do it at all. Scars ain't really a sight to behold 'innit. But if you really wanna do it, lol, do it somewhere not that visible, you'll feel better if people can't see it, so you won't get bombarded with questions like, "Why the hell are you cutting yourself, you dumbass!?" ..yep, do it smart, you'll be glad you did. ;)

I've been an asshole for a while back, I ignored texts and shit, I'm sorry, SengHoo, Pam for missing even that last outing before you people leave. I'm sorry, everyone. For pissing you guys off at times. :/

School's..school, to say the least. Bio and Physics teachers still suck at teaching, Nothing much, except for the unchanged fact that I need to study. Everyone's doing it, especially Jovin and Henry. And after listening to what Addie, my addmaths tuition teacher said, studying's really, really..important. It'll make a difference in the future. I'm clinging on to that statement, and doing my best.

Basically both school & life's been..grey. I'm starting to lose that direction of mine, to try to live through high school as colourfully as possible. Now days seem to be blazing through, with only nothing but myself and I, trying to re-crayon everything back to colour. I've lost interest in everything, everything except for one. I'm clinging on to that little shard of hope, that tiny fragment, that things will work out. If you know what am I talking about, yes, its exactly what you think. If things don't work out, there won't be another one for a long, long time. So somehow let me know if I have a shot at this. Whatever it may be, let me know, let me know.

Pics from my phone, idk, just to fill up this post?

and this.

lol.

Maybe it's time I stopped this, maybe it's time I came back, to reality.

Vacation

2010-03-16T13:48:00.003+08:00

Yawn.
Stuff's been happening recently like usual, blah blah blah.
But really, who wants to know?

Sorry for being a dick recently,
but I need a vacation to somewhere far away from civilization,
I don't know what's wrong with me,
but there just is something.

I'll be back for dinner someday,
or maybe for lunch. lol.

until then.

When things go wrong, don't run away, face them head-on, with a smile; Say TRY ME, not WHY me.

..yep,I'm all talk indeed.

Recently

2010-03-03T22:24:00.002+08:00

Been studying, but not till the extent of dropping my balls.
Okay I'll be frank, I haven't been studying that hard.
I just don't feel like it, get what I mean?
It's like, I feel that I have all the time in the world,
when in fact, I do fucking not.
I'm so screwed.
and this upcoming exam next week? Yeah well, I don't really care about how'll I do.

Yeah, well, those are few of the many pics in my phone that weren't uploaded yet.

It's not that hard to figure out the sequence, really.

But details? Naaaaaaaah. Go figure.

Gotta go mug the reference books again.

Bye-bye.

CNY's Friday

2010-02-21T16:34:00.002+08:00

So, I'll just post pictures for this post to let you guys know what I did on the Chinese New Year Friday.

Lou sang with Loong, Teoh, Eurica, Vestene and this other girl at

Sushi King, Ipoh Parade.

Yummy thai food! Made hot by THE food goddess, Mimi.

Starbucks with Loong, Teoh, Mimi.

Loong; Alicified.

and me.

There are more finer details during the night, but this would be it for this post,

I can't write anymore than this.

I can't add details, if I do, I'll be writing not about whatever that happened-mind you, I cherish my memories, but what I'll be writing about is far more than that of memories. Something alien to me. Think of it as an out-of-body experience.

I slept at 1am, and woke up at 5am earlier today thanks to it.

So this is what it feels like,

to be sick.

It's a disease.

CNY's Tuesday

2010-02-17T00:38:00.004+08:00

Okay, so.. Tuesday, yeah.
Woke up at 9+ cause my family had to go to a relative's shop for a lion dance..

I realize I don't really like lion dances. lol
Anyway, I went to Jusco right after lunch, cousin bought a Fairlady, and hee sped like. 200kmph from the highway at Gopeng till Jusco. And guess what, only seven minutes yo. Didn't take a pic, I was on the edge of my seats looking at the scenery blazing by. LOL. Anyway, I had to use the leg express to get my ass from Jusco to Infinity, "everyone's here." said William. Well since EVERYONE's there, I thought,"aiya, okay lor. go lor." but when I reached, the so-called everyone's Max Yeoh, his bro, Joel Oon and William. I was momentarily stunned. -.-

We ended up playing DotA, not going for Kbox as planned, getting Victoria Yeoh and Emily Ng bored of waiting at Jusco with Sunny Ckh and getting Mimi and Henry to come over for L4D....William's one helluva kickass organizer aye. -.-
Henry was late by bout a bloody hour, and when he was nearby he texted Mimi saying, "Reached dy, which com?" when we were OUTSIDE of Infinity, ready to leave while waiting for him.
Note to self: Think of better lies. LOL
It was about dinnertime when Henry came, we went to Station One for food.

Chat, crap, and loads of Science thanks to Professor Henry Ting.
"Gee, you know anot, this time our Physics gg dee.."
"Gee, you know this Bio term? *speaks alien*"
Gee here Gee there. -.-
Henry, you needa stop studying wey. I mean, shit, it's flippin Chinese New Year, not Chinese Study Week man. Sigh. He makes me feel so bloody stupid I swear. It's like each time he opens his mouth he tries to convert me to some new religion, the Henries or something that invokes loads and loads of studying and ONLY studying... yeah that's how depressing how things are. And to make things worse, they didn't have lou sang that Mimi wanted so badlyyy. She ended up reading A Walk To Remember, leaving William and I to Henry's wrath. Picture both of us with Dunce caps, and HenryDumbledore.

Went back to Infinity to poke balls, well at least THEY did. I'd rather poke mums. HAHAHAHA.

Mimi and I just chatted along the whole way while they played. I think I picked up some really useful info from her. lol
Oh and guys, look, look. What's thiss?

I know what everyone wants to say, Starcraft II right.

But Mimi begs to differ, she insists its Transformers In Space.

HAHAHAHAHA

So William left to Carmen Wong's open house after that, while we loitered around the area waiting for people to gather at Zero Degrees/ Barroom. We were at the nightmarket looking at some mystic dude that ate lots of needles, and was at the rooftops of Jusco, eating Sushi.

..the rooftops at night ain't that bad, makes you wanna sing that chinese song, rooftops. LOL okay fine. That was lameee.

When 10pm was finally here, kaboom. We went to Zero Degrees first, cause neither one of us been there before and partially cause we wanted to tell each other flat jokes. Get what I mean? Flat jokes = cold. Cold = zero degrees... okay OKAY. FINEEE. that was also lame. =(
We walked back out bout 5mins later cause they didn't have bottles for sale, they come in buckets only. Mimi's not supposed to drink, whilst Henry and I aren't that hardcore yet. Haha.
We then went to Barroom, only to be faced with the same situation.. saddening, I know. We ended up at Sincero after wondering about the pub-filled streets. Mimi wasn't feeling well too.
Things ended up with us being in Sincero, drinking really hard to swallow beer, and me leaving early. Sometimes when you're Islam, I think it's really weird for you to not drink beer in a pub, but then again its religion, so who am I to comment bout that right. I'd say Mimi was really bored of drinking water, Henry and I at least got ourselves occupied with the beer. The difference between Barroom and Sincero's..whoa.

*Sighs* Ah that day was still okay I guess.. nothing much to complain about, really. I managed to delay my aunt and all. Wednesday on the other hand, was utter bullshit. My aunts told me that I've been going out too much, and I was like, what the phuck, too much? Four days into CNY and I've been out only on Sunday and Tuesday man. Sometimes you've just gotta wonder what the hell are inside their stupid little messed up minds. Wrong mentality all the fcukin' way. I ended up missing everything on that day.

Loong's house, Michaelangelo's pizza, and clubbing at night. I missed EVERYTHING. =(
Bloody fuck. Stupid aunts.
Nevermind. It's Thursday, and we're all thirsty for some clubbing tonight. Let's make it happen, people.
Oh and sorry if this post's kinda messy, I just woke up from my afternoon nap. :s

CNY's Sunday/Valentines Day

2010-02-15T02:46:00.011+08:00

VALENTINES.

SOOO.

Okay, to all the single people, I know, life sucks. Single Valentines, blah blah blah. Same here actually.

To all the people who are a couple or tri-ple or quad-ple or whatever ple, life's good aye.

I bet everyone had a great Valentines.

Cause I sure did, it's actually really good if compared to before-alone at home, facing the damn monitor. This time, I went out with Jensning. An awesome KL girl that I got to know from the camp, she's basically really all that. HAHA. Sociable, adorableee.. yeah.

So it was earlier today morning when she asked me whether was I free today cause she was in town.

I initially don't have a single plan for today, but once I got the text message, I was really overjoyed.. FINALLY, A NOT-SO-SINGLE VALENTINES DAY, I thought. Damn I know, I sound friggin' desperate. But it was really how I felt. LOL.

We met each other near coffee bean, she didn't look different from the last time I saw her-two months ago. We walked around, chatted, and even went out to Jusco, only to come back bout a few minutes later cuz of the unbearable heat. Jusco's crowded btw. Like hell. Coffee Bean's like some night market, and Black Canyon's like a bloody pub. Ugh. It was really like a rave goin on in Jusco. THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE. Shit. Anyway yeah, pretty much spent my whole day with her.

Pictures of us.

Jens. :)

I had a fun Valentines, memorable too.

We're not a couple, but I'm pretty genuinely happy. HAHA.

It's 2.45am, gotta sleep, goin out tomorrow.

Happy post Valentines!/first day of CNY. :)

Happy CNY;V-Day!

2010-02-14T12:04:00.001+08:00

*piakpiakpiakpiak*

........zzz.

*piakpiakpiakpiakpiak*

....is that firecrackers I hear?

OH, SHOOT. HI. It's that time of the year again huh.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR/VALENTINES DAY, PEOPLE!

With that, I wish that this year'll be filled with awesomeness. Heheh. :)

oh and I'm still single, helloooo. nobody wanna date me kerrr.

Not okay.

2010-02-13T18:55:00.003+08:00

I think I've lost the ability to fully express myself.
Wait, no, lemme rephrase that.
I think I've never had the ability to fully express myself.
Yeah.
It's like, so much crap stacked up together inside of me from my kidney to my friggin throat.
THAT type of feeling.
It's like, everything's inside me, or rather the feeling's at my chest, its like everything's closing in on my heart. I even feel that breathing's getting harder and harder. It's like, I'm hesitating to breathe, each breath I take just kinda pulls that feeling deeper into my chest; It's like, each time I try to release all this by looking for solutions, my eyes start to water. I just can't find a way out of everything, my own personal hell that I myself made for me. Damn, I don't even know what am I typing, it's like, there's so much stuff to be told, to be expressed, but everything's in such chaos I don't even see what's wrong with me anymore. I don't know what's wrong with me, there's something alright, or maybe lots of things, but I just don't know WHAT. Everything's like a whole haystack of shit, or a whole flippin ocean of depression inside of me. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG. I DON'T KNOW. I JUST DON'T KNOW. Ask me what's wrong, got wut "sum si", and I'll answer the same thing, nothing's wrong with me! Nothing at all! why would there even be anything wrong with me? Life's perfect 'innit? I have people who love me, people who care for me, people who are there for me, people who are there to listen, but what more do I still want you say? I don't know. I don't fucking know a shit anymore.

I used to think that maybe if I try to dig into my own thoughts I would eventually know what's wrong with me. I listen to everyone's misfortune, I listen to everyone's whining, I try to help everyone with thoughts that maybe if I do all this, maybe I'll get to know, from everyone's pain, what's wrong with me; where's my pain located. But even after so much, I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm a channel that redirects everyone's hate and anger and shit away from them, but where do my own thoughts go? They don't go anywhere, Everything that's built up inside of me doesn't go anywhere at all. They stay inside of me, being unable to go out, the pain's slowly brewing inside, it's like I don't even know what's inside of me anymore, organs, or depression. I've never admitted that I'm emo or depressed before, but from the looks of things right now, I admit, I'm depressed. I'm actually crying while typing all this. Nobody understands me. I don't expect YOU to know what's wrong, nor expect anyone to help me. Cause there isn't. The price for being a good listener's steep, I don't think I can hold it in much longer, I don't think I can continue with all this. I put up a happy face in front of everyone at everytime, I try to be really sociable even when I'm not happy at all. I can change my mood in a split of a second-I can be happy right now, and depressed moments later. Something's definitely wrong with me, like I said earlier, I know, but I don't know. I don't expect anyone to understand, don't worry, I'm typing all this out just cause I wanna try to express what's wrong with me, in hopes of finding out the answers in doing so myself. But after typing all this out, nothing connects-nothing at all. I don't know why do I even bother. I feel like dying. Ahahahaha

Nobody understands...nobody.

THE update.

2010-02-07T21:10:00.002+08:00

It's been about time I updated aye.
Hahaha, "update your damn blog la mofo."
Sooo, where to begin, where to begin..
Ah, okay I'll start with last week,

Saturday
I went to KL for a wedding dinner.
The bride's my childhood friend Peak Chien's elder sister. (I don't know if I got her name right..lol)
We were pretty tight back then, till we went to our respective secondary schools.
She went to KL to study. I remember her as the boyish type, but whoa. Last week forced me to renew my memory of her. LOL!
Okay, so we stayed at Royale Chulan, just about say, walking distance to Pavilion.
My bro U-S'ng bought this pair of red converse. He wanted Purple at first but errr. Let's just say purple converse ain't exactly "straight".. get what I mean? Hahaha.

He suits the pair of shoes imo, he's always really active. :)
Oh and did I mention the people at converse posed us with this banner and stuff and took pictures of us?
No really, they did that. HAHA. We're gonna appear on their website!....Okay or maybe not, but a guy can hope, can't he?!
They went for some really expensive dinner that Saturday night, and I was left in the hotel room, singing Hotel Room Service to myself. Dumdumdumdumdum, meet me at the hotel room.

I ended up being so effin' bored I went to the cafe alone drowning myself in my thoughts. I could've sworn the bartender thought I failed in some major project of some company. He asked me if I wanted beer. HAHAHAHAHA. I said no, of course. Ku ni budak baik. :)

Sunday
Okay Sunday, I made plans to go out with whoever that was in KL. I ended up at Mid Valley cause most of my friends were there. And when I mean most, I meant 2. -.-
I KNOW, PATHETIC. BUT ITS THE TRUTH...... dammit.
Jensning's grandma passed away, FionaC didn't reply, and blahblahblah the list goes on.
The measly TWO that replied were Annie and Peak Yee.
Annie was occupied, and Peak Yee's this girl I met during the winter camp.
So anyway, I ditched Annie and her..duty, and went all around the place with Peak Yee.

Took pics, crapped and stuff. She's older than me by a year btw. Hahaha.
It seemed so weird, cause it was like only a month ago, we were at the campus learning chinese culture, partying at a campmate's room, and screaming our lungs out at the bottom of the bridge. Ahhh, memories, memories. I still kinda miss those days whenever I think about it.
Anyways, bought some stuff there, and went back at about 4.30.
Returned to the hotel room, and got ready for the dinner.

The dinner was held in a very KL-way---LATE.
Flippin hell, the thing started at like, what. 7.30 when it said 6.30, and after FIVE dishes, it was TENpm. They have 9 courses, and for a FIVE star hotel, the food sucks. The dinner was really grand and all, but the FOOD. Owhmuaigrawshwhateheffff. You'd think you're at some chinese-runned mamak roadside restaurant if it wasn't for the grandness of the ballroom. ANYHOW.
Being a ex-Kinderjoy teacher, all the old KinderJoy staff came over and all of them had the same reaction when mum told them that me and my bro were U-Guan and U-S'ng. "WOW! REALLY AR?" "WOW! I CANNOT RECOGNIZE THEM ALREADY!" wow this wow that..p eople grow, the last time you people saw me was 10 years ago k. TEN YEARS. That's a bloody long time.
OKAY, SO. The dinner lasted for like. 5hrs AT LEAST. Luckily my bro bought along entertainment.. the dinner's so-called entertainment was like some mediocre Leo Club function entertainments, plus the traditional wedding stuff like yum-sengs and the other alcohol ceremonies that kononnya represents matrimony. Frankly I'd say chinese people from the L to the O to the V E S alcohol full stop. LOL. Ah I'm just joking, don't wanna flame up my own race's wedding ceremony now do I. :) And like I said earlier, I was really AMAZED at how much Peak Chien changed. Couldn't take a pic with her cause she was too busy entertaining random people. :(
My mum and bro actually dared me to walk up to her and call her over. -.-
They thought that I would actually be so darn shy -.-
They were wrong. HEHEHEHE.
Anyways we reached home at about 2, I slept at around 3. I went to school the next day. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? HAHAHA. I feel so damn proud. *nose gets longer, hidung tinggi, not Pinocchio, mind you.*

Mummy.

Thursday
Went to Loong's as usual, and suprise suprise, I saw Lin Sheng at home.

He was sick. The pungent smell of pineappletarts was in the air the moment we stepped in. DAMN it smells so good. LOL. Anywayy, we decided to bring oranges to tuition, and of all the oranges, the one that was passed to Mimi evolved into ORANGE-MI! HAHAHA.

...Poor orange. :x

Okay so I UPDATED, PEOPLE. I UPDATED. Happy yet?
I feel so darn proud of myself, heheh.
I initially thought of just leaving this page with that quarter-of-a-post post last week,
but after giving it more thought, and cause of the pursuations, I'm back. ;)
Gotta go, needa sleep early tonight, I didn't have enough sleep last night.
And Idk what the hell's wrong with everyone recently.
So effin' emo wey. I mean c'mon la, CHINESE NEW YEAR's in a week's time people!

CHEER UP, HAVE AN ORANGE, AND SING CHAI SHEN DAO YO!

It works, trust me. I tried.

Half-An-Update.

2010-02-01T23:37:00.000+08:00

See, I really wanna post an update here but it's already 11.37pm.

I'll probably do it tomorrow,

or wednesay,

or thursday,

or maybe ages after that.

Idk, I needa be more organized like seriously.

Idk what the f's wrong with me.

If this goes on, boy oh boy, I'll be a dead man walking.

Hope I don't get screwed tomorrow.

Goodnight.

Nerds are cool.

2010-01-24T17:27:00.044+08:00

`&; Grace♥ says:
i bet you're slacking and you're on facebook.
omg cmon
go study
malassssss

`&; Grace♥ says:
stop slacking
you keep telling yourself to do this and do that
when are you gonna ACTUALLY do it?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

-

Guess what, I think my twin really did help me out by giving me hell on msn. LOL
I went cycling, and came up with a conclusion, if I don't start now, when -will- I start?
And that isn't even a question, it's a bloody statement.
So mhmm. I stopped procrastinating and shit, I even came online late today AFTER studying!
HAHA. Thanks loads, twin. :)
I feel so..accomplished. *proud-i-rock-and-you-don't face*
wheeee.

I missed going out with Jeanwei and Eurica and some other girl earlier today to the movies,
mum still has that tight leash on me, sigh.
I realized when you have all the freedom in the world, you won't wanna go out that much.
and vice versa-when you don't have freedom, you'll be craving to go out like nuts, hence, not being able to focus on your studies, unlike what our parents think. Sigh. -.-
I think I maybe able to study better if that leash was extended, I'm not asking for my absolute freedom back, but COME ON. THAT amount of going out per month? It's just plain screwed. =/
Gah. Hope my parents'll understand that before I go nuts at home.

But hey, being an antisocial "online-study-stay-at-home" dude ain't half bad for this year. :))))
Say, for instance, a guy who had his freedom getting restricted like hell, and not being able to even go online.
Sounds like someone you know? Well yeah that's exactly who I'm referring to. HAHA.
Anyway, yeah. Being on a tight leash has its cons and pros I guess, it pretty much -is- the truth.
Sides, nerds are cool aren't they?

Nerds..will rule the world someday.

..maybe through the internet, or through girls like this. Don't believe me? The trend now's wut, really really thick glasses? I mean, some people buy those glasses just for the sake of wearing'em. I've seen people wearing lens-less glasses even. lol.
Conclusion: If you're a single guy, go get nerdified; if you're a single girl, go get nerdified.

I'll go consider right now.
later.

To make it.

2010-01-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

Days in school's getting more and more hectic by each passing nanomoment.

It's as if yesterday, or the day before that 2010 officially started.

And today, what? It's 21st of January already?

Sonofa-

Time moves too quickly.

21 days of 2010, 21 days into Form5.

0 days into study.

I need to do this shit right if I'm gonna succeed in SPM.

I need to do things right.

I need to focus,

I need to study.

Sigh. Talk's cheap. I needa get motivated by hope or by croak somehow.

Lazing around like this for the whole day ain't gonna get me nowhere.

I'm not gonna back down, I'm not gonna give in to temptations.

I'll set my own plans down in some sorta timetable each and every day.

I needa get back on track, backtracking what I missed last year.

It's gonna be one helluva tough ride, but here I survived the influenzas, I'm not affected by any quakes.

Study, here I come.

Phew. Okay so now that's over, I went to MichaelangelO's Pizza joint earlier for dinner.

It's better than Pizza Hut, seriously.

It's located near uh. PC Depot. Yeah.

And guess who I saw?

Suprise, suprise. HAHA. The dude in white, on the left hand side's Jono, and the girl? Mel.

LOL. Coincidence betul right. And I thought I was gonna be the only guy in a place like this, cause Idk, it's not a place that people will normally go for pizza. Anyway, yeah. Said hi to them when they came in. The stuff there's really filling. I can still feel the fullness in me wey. Pizza and Spaghetti. I needa burn some calories wey. I've been gaining weight non-stop. I lucked out when dad brought back that bike that costed a bomb last night, I'm a proud owner of a gay high end mountain bike now. HAHA. Okay so maybe a bike that costs a few thousand isn't really high end, BUT STILL. Damn expensive wey.

Tomorrow's routine:

Wake up, survive school, get my ass back home, study, cycle, freetime, sleep.

Done.

Oh and I'll do the poems and stuff some other day kay.

Cause man, I've too many essays and shit to cover in school.

And bloody hell, replacement class on SATURDAY.

I'll update bout funner stuff tomorrow night, goodnight, people. :)

Baby cause we're soldiers in a war.

2010-01-17T18:02:00.002+08:00

Does anyone know Jay Sean? The dude that sang War and Lights Off? No?

Yeah I kinda guessed so.
How bout if I put it this way, Jay Sean's the dude who sings Down.
Baby are you down down down down down.
That song. Ring a bell? Yeah? Did you go," OOOH that guy! I love that song man."
I bet all of you didn't know Down is nothing compared to War and Lights Off.

War

I would march across the desert to defeat my enemy
And I would lie here in the trenches with your picture next to me
And when I told you it’s forever, then it’s how its gonna be
Don’t, won’t let him just take the place of me (No..)

Does he really know you like I know you, all the little things?
Does he really love you, like I love you, how can he compete?
If he makes me fight for you, die for you, would he do the same?
This is turning into way more than a game..

Now it feels like soldiers in a war and none of us are backing down
And I will show you victory is mine before we leave this battleground
Cause he don’t wanna leave, and I don’t wanna go
And I know just how this battle goes
He don’t wanna leave and I don’t wanna fight this kind of war

You know he’s not the man you think he is; he’s hiding all his flaws
So tell me what’s the point of fighting? Because we’ll all end up with scars
But girl if that’s what I must go through, then I’m not prepared to lose
Cause I’ve already bled so much for you (No..)

Does he really know you like I know you, all the little things?
Does he really love you, like I love you, how can he compete?
If he makes me fight for you, I die for you, would he do the same?
Baby this is turning into way more than a game..

Baby cause we’re soldiers in a war and none of us are backing down
And I will show you victory is mine before we leave this battleground
Cause he don’t wanna leave, and I don’t wanna go
And I know just how this battle goes
He don’t wanna leave and I don’t wanna fight this kind of war (No, No..)

Getting kind of sick of this battle
Wish I could take it back to when I had you
I’m always thinking that I can have you, just let him have you
It’s getting kinda hard to convince you

After all the shit that we’ve been through
What, would you let all this happen?
You gotta choice to make it stop
It’s already going too far..

Girl we’re soldiers in a war and none of us are backing down
And I will show you victory is mine before we leave this battleground
Cause he don’t wanna leave, and I don’t wanna go
And I know just how this battle goes
He don’t wanna leave and I don’t wanna fight this kind of war

Cause he don’t wanna leave, and I don’t wanna go
And I know just how this battle goes
He don’t wanna leave and I don’t wanna fight this kind of war..

This song, is amazing, 'nuff said.

It's so unbelievable that I missed this song idk how long ago since I downloaded the album. Damn.

Anyway, yeah, remember to checkout Lights Off and All or Nothing.

I'm still waiting. =/

Hold me now, don't bother.

2010-01-17T12:05:00.006+08:00

SO. Siew Wen said Pokemon, and Seng Hoo said poems!

Here goes.

Shall I compare Pikachu to a summer's day?

Thou art more electrifying and more temperate:

Pidgey winds do gust the darling buds of May,

And Squirtle's water gun all too short a date:

Sometime too hot the flame of Charmander shines,

And often is his red complexion dimmed,

And every water pokemon sometime declines,

By chance, or pokeballs catching course untrimmed:

But thy Master Ball shall not fail,

Nor lose possession of that annoying Lugia'st,

Nor shall Ghastly brag thou wander'st in his shade,

When in eternal pokeballs to catch pokemon'st,

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and pokemon owns thee.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

I bet it sounds effin' familiar eh guys? LOL.

I'm flippin William Shakespeare the 2nd man. ;D

Okay fine that was just plain lame.

I'll write something better. Oh and I decided to ditch that side-blog idea, too damn mafan.

I'll just post whatever crap I can think of HERE. Easier, kan? :)

So um. I've been me recently if you guys wanna know, still the same, except for the teeny tiny little part of hardworkingness rising up in me...or so I think. Blah. Enough bout that, I know what I needa do.

And here's what I cooked up, idk if its any good, but keep the flaming to a minimum kay. -.-

EDIT:

[ REMOVED ]

Loong | said:

x suka.

Have mercy, people. MY FIRST STORY. No bombastic/fancy words yet. Couldn't think of any at the moment.-.- Feedbacks please.

If it's good I'll continue writing.. IF.

Okay, so um. I'll try to do some Addmaths right now or something.

Turn around.

2010-01-15T00:09:00.001+08:00

So I was at this restaurant beside of Casuarina earlier, as much as I wanted to have went to that new club, De Nest or something at the other side, I couldn't. =/ I had to celebrate my uncle's birthday. Oh well. The food's okay, and I really like the room. Damn big, there's a karaoke system and a private toilet!

*Attempts to whistle*..........Darn. I think I'm the only dude that doesn't know how to whistle, besides Loong. HAHA. At least I know how to suck in the air and make noise. Wheeehehehe.

Things are fine recently if you guys wanna know, and uh. I think I needa stop joking around and really do some revision, study, and whatever that'll help me grab my A. =/ I mean, c'mon YOUGEE, you needa study man. Stop facebooking so much, stop chatting so much, stop texting so much. FOCUS on your books dude.

..I need some new year resolutions, it's not late yet to make up some of that now is it? HAHA.

So okay, I'm gonna get started with..

NOT using the laptop so much.
NOT sleeping so late.
NOT procrastinate =/
STUDY, EVERYDAY. MINIMUM ONE HOUR.

Ah yes, that'll do I think. ;D and maybe some fun too, cause last year of high school, I don't wanna miss so much shit by studying man. And chemistry today was hell, seriously. I couldn't understand a shit LC Tan was saying, I DON'T KNOW WHY. Phuck. He's even shittier than KC Leong. Damnnnnn. He's not LC like his name suggests though, luckily. HAHA. And Mimi decided to doodle decorate my calculator. Look. Flippin' PPG man. PEE PEE GEE. POWERPUFF GIRLZ. -____-

AMC girls and doodling decorating.. it's just such a.. magical relationship don't you think so. HAHA. Like Eurica's idkwutarethose pics from Annie's blog , and now even MIMI.......okay fine so maybe it isn't THAT bad cuz nobody'll steal it dee. LOL.

We won't be watching Paranormal Activity tomoz. =/ Oh well..
AND AND AND. Peeps, any suggestions for that first story of mine? Like, idk, uhh. Science fiction? Poem? Drama? Horror? or maybe POKEMON??

HAHA. I'll write whatever the first person who posts on my cbox wants to read. ;D
11.59pm, SHIT. Gotta sleep earlyyyy. Rawr-zz.

Fall back down.

2010-01-13T23:14:00.001+08:00

I haven't been able to update my blog recently, cause of the homework and stuff that has been happening around. I initially thought of not posting this tonight too, cause damn, I'm tired and there's school and Chemistry tuition tomoz. But Loong was pestering me for an update, so um. Yeah, hi. HAHA. Okay, firstly last Thursday was Alice's 16th birthday, we celebrated with her on Friday at MP. The people who went? Loong, Teoh, Henry, Mimi, Eurica, Janise, ANNIE and I. Hope it was an acceptable compensation for your original super sweet sixteen birthday party event thing. :)

We were playing Bluff, or Bullshit, I call it. The folks back at winter camp taught me how to play. We played Killer too. Yet again, creds to the camp peeps. I still miss late night killer/bullshit sessions with them. =/ Anyhow, we also played stuff like that, How many meh meh jump across the fence, ABCD and Johny Whoops. HAHA. AND I FINALLY GOT IT. DAMN. ;D

So, I started having my second Addmaths tuition in a week on Monday, at BryanL's house. Eddie's the teacher's name. He's good, I was struggling to keep up..ugh. And you know what, while doing some sums last night, I got so frickin' depressed wey. Cause damn, I kinda forgotten EVERY single thing I learned last year. Sucks to be me man. Sigh. Hope that starting early stuff that Ms. Aly told us about during Bio's gonna work. I needa study my ass off. *Motivation aura* GRRR.

ANDD, guess what. HEE HEE. Hint: Alice: UG, lei dak geh. @Facebook. LOL ;D
There, updated.
Oh and btw, I'll be opening a new blog which stores all of my literature stuff. Stories, maybe. Poems, or some shit. I'll post the link once my first post is up kay peeps. Stay tuned! :)

Homework, revisions, entertainment, bros & hoes. I don't wanna miss a thing.

Grotesque, horror movie.

2010-01-09T11:05:00.000+08:00

You know what, I've this sudden urge to watch horror movies earlier, and
I went googling for horror and gore and stuff right, and I ended up at Wikipedia's doorstep,
browsing through the new stuff.
After idk how long of random clicking, I came across this japanese horror flick called Grotesque.

Plot

A young couple (played by Tsugumi Nagasawa and Hiroaki Kawatsure) are snatched off the street and wake up shackled in a basement. With no explanation, a sadistic madman (played by Shigeo Ōsako) degrades, tortures and mutilates them. As the torture progresses, it is revealed he is simply doing this for sexual stimulation, and that he wants the two to survive. After one final game where the guy has to save the girl and fails due to blood loss, the madman cuts off the girl's head and as her head falls down, it lands on the man's neck and she bites him. The boy stabs him in the foot with scissors. The two then die.
In the epilogue of the film, the madman is revealed to have survived what happened to him in the basement, and he is outside in a forest where he buries the couple next to each other. The next scene shows him in a car with a hammer, with a girl walking by, and the screen cuts to black as he goes after his next victim.

ooohlala. This sounds promising for a pure sadist movie. PLUS. There's an japanese AV star acting one of the main roles. HAHAHAHA. Imma download this later tonight. ;DD

.
....
..........
................
.....................
Shit, I bet you people'll think I'm dead serious.
WELL NO, I'M NOT BEING SERIOUS!
I don't really enjoy frickin sadistic stuff except for the Saw series, cause they just rock my socks off. Look,
"Grotesque features minimal narrative or character development and presents the audience with little more than an unrelenting and escalating scenario of humiliation, brutality and sadism. In spite of a vestigial attempt to 'explain' the killer's motivations at the very end of the film, the chief pleasure on offer is not related to understanding the motivations of any of the central characters. Rather, the chief pleasure on offer seems to be wallowing in the spectacle of sadism (including sexual sadism) for its own sake". -Wikipedia

HAHAHA. Those japanese peeps'd love this I bet. People like ME don't go overboard, Saw's just about enough. =)) SPEAKING OF WHICH. I still haven't watch Saw VI! It's still inside that whole box of new DVDs my dad updates from time to time.

And I'll be updating bout Alice's birthday later tonight. Plus, the unraveling of my new side blog. :)

Humid stuff.

2010-01-05T23:26:00.003+08:00

So second day of school, hmmmm. Everything went normal I guess.
The infamous Mr. Poh Kim Kang's teaching us Moral. LOL
The stuff he talks about, wow.
"The students I taught on 2007! They got xxx A's, aku memecah rekod sekolah dan mencatatkan sejarah yo!"
........yeah, stuff like that. Lots, of stuff like that.
.................

..the pic says it all.

This year's english teacher changed to Mr. Raj Kumar. Okay so he ain't half bad I guess, and he expects us, his students to blog once a week, within 50-100 words. Funny, I know, but then again the english standard of Sam Tet students are *face palm*. No further descriptions needed. =x So uh. Yeah. Second day of school's so-so. Nothing much happened, boringgg. Oh and I'll be going to AAA for Biology with the others as of tomoz. Wheee. ;D Bio tuition, at long friggin last! Okay fine so maybe I shouldn't be that high cause of tuition. *deep breath* phew.

So. That's for school stuff, and now, for my Guangzhou stuff.
I watched the CDs they gave us again earlier and I felt so.. sad again.
I really really wish that we had more time together, or we stayed closer to one another instead of distances like KL-Sabah or Ipoh-Penang/KL/Kedah. =/
I miss all of them a hell lot seriously. Chynhuey, Jensning, Peakyee, Kangtzi, Kangxuan, Seamus, Evelyn, The banana people, and of course a few people from my class andd the other people I left out. I miss the fun, the annoyingness, the craziness, the parties. Gah. (removed)

AND. I realize that, bloody hell, the weather recently's killing me I swear. Humid like what the phuck. Imagine waiting for your ride home outside of school by the roadside on a hot malaysian afternoon for 30mins.. unbearable? Nah, I'm still alive.............barely.

WE. NEED. TO. START. RECYCLING!

Plastic, Glass, Paper, Aluminium and whatever crap you can find right, don't throw'em into the rubbish bin, toss them into a RECYCLE bin for heavens' sake, people.

For the benefit of NOT SWEATING!

DO YOUR PART, RECYCLE!

....okay fine that was lame but I just thought it was so hot and I found loads of plastic bags at home which made me think of global warming. lol.
Anyway. I slept at flippin' 1am last night. I have tuition tomorrow.
That means I'm heading to sleep really soon after another phonecall. Byebyee.

Leaving, is not the end.

2010-01-04T20:03:00.000+08:00

HELLO MALAYSIA!

Firstly,
I'd like to wish everyone a happy new year, I hope 2010'll be a blast just like 2009. =) I thought since I can't leave the memories of 2009 behind, why not RELIVE them this year right right right?

Secondly,
I'm back. After 12 days of winter camp.
It's been loads of fun, tonnes of memories.
I made loads of great friends there, not what I expected actually.
Cause during the first 30mins of the camp, I felt like shit already cause I saw the people inside my group-"I'm the group leader of these people?! Oh mama." That, was what I thought initially. And yeah I'm being a helluva prejudice mofo. I know. But boy I was wrong. I'm actually damn frickin happy I was wrong. I was so happy during the camp, I holded in idk how many waves of waterworks during performance night. I couldn't hold it in during the final day, when we started boarding our respective buses to the airports. All of them turned out to be rather COOL. But of of course, not ALL of them, I ended up being with the 2nd class of the camp, I'm the so-called monitor of 1st class as well. Lol. The people from my class were talking behind my back bout it, but I didn't even give a damn. HAHA. And the same goes to my duties. Heheh.

I signed up for all that leader stuff cause I wanna tryout being a class monitor this year. Yeah, you heard it right. I WANNA TRYOUT TO BE A CLASS MONITORRR. rawr. And um. There are fmany crates of pics and stuff that I brought back, and due to my laziness, I'll upload just a few group pictures/shots that seem to have more.. sentimental value. hmmm. :s

Sigh. I miss all of them. The jokes, the annoyances, all of that. All my friends. =/
I woke up to sunday morning rain is falling instead of "U-GUAN, WAKE UP MAN, WE'RE GONNA BE LATE AGAIN!"
I was expecting to hear my roommate during the camp-Wei En's voice calling me up, telling me we're gonna be late for the 10th time. But it didn't happen.
I walked out of the house; wanting to feel the cold morning air while walking to the university; I felt humid, hot air instead.
I had instant noodles for breakfast instead of the buffet.
I ate alone in my room instead of being at the cafeteria with my crazy camper friends.
I'm here in my room right now instead of being at one of my friend's rooms partying till late night.

..I miss every single thing. :(
Sigh. At least all that happened. Memories are better than nothing at all. I had crazy fun with all of you all. I just wish that the camp lasted longer..
AH. You know what. Let's all join some camp again this year! ;D
Heheheheh.
Anyhow, I'll be ending this post quick cause school's reopening tomoz and I have lots of planning to do, lots of stuff to crap about. AND. Ending the post with an E-Toast to everyone aboard,

Happy 2010! :)

Our hotel's corridor, on the final day/Leaving is not the end.

Because of everyone.

2009-12-21T23:42:00.000+08:00

So, by the time you people are reading this, I'll be on my way to winter camp dee.
And chances are, I won't be online till next year.
Yes, it means I won't be with you people for christmas.
Sigh. Dad just had to make me go. =/
Oh well, since I'm going dee, why not make the most out of it aye.
But before all that, I think I'd wanna blog out everything that has happened this year.
I initially thought that this year would be the same as the last, or the ones before, uber dull.

But, things changed for the better this year, I got to know lots and lots more people from all around.
And when I think about it, I think everything changed after I joined Ansen's clan on Garena; everything changed after Loong said hi when I passed by their class-life started changing for me since then, I've been hanging out with them and loads of kick ass moments on Garena. I had loads of fun. I need to thank Hong Nian too, for bringing me out to Infinity before that. Remember when I blogged about how much I enjoyed that day even when I got my ass kicked in Dota? Yeah. It's all cause of the people who were around me, friends. And in time, I got to know all the people I do right now-amazing people. There's too much of them to be named, but I'll try to list out a few in no order whatsoever: Loong, BryanL, BryanC, Henry, Teoh, Jean, Jojo, Annie, Alice, Eurica, Hui Zen, Grace, Kian Seng, Joel, Siew Li, Tek Yi, Yin Jen, Sean, Jovin, JS, Adrian, and well, all the other 127 people on my MSN "Friends" contact list.

I wouldn't be who I am right now if it weren't for those few moments that changed this year. That's a fact that can't be denied. Went to so many places with them, did so much stuff with them, and crapped even more with them. Each and every moment of all that, I really cherish. Even the dull moments like a few times at Loong's place. HAHA. Yeah, even those..

And to think, I thought that this year'd be slow paced huh. look, it's already December, time flew really really quicker than the years before. I had to type a lot more on MSN than I used to last time. I spent a lot more cash cause of my phone too. Got eff'd cause of that as well. LOL. Well, yeah I think this pretty much sums up what I wanna blog about tonight, for the last time on 2009. I don't have enough time to browse through the pics and stuff to post all of'em up tonight though.. =/ ooh and and, since I won't be here for christmas, guess I should wish you guys right now first huh. 10days before christmas wey. I bet nobody's as early as I am, heheh.

Merry Christmas!

It's 11.24 already, I've gotta run, bus & plane to catch later.
Well to be honest, I still can't let go of all this-I can't let go of 2009-can't let go of everything that has happened. But the clock's ticking. I'd really like to freeze time and just live these last few days of the year with you guys, have fun to the max, but then again, the clock's ticking. There's actually so much more I wanna blog about, so much more thoughts, so much more people.. BUT. Time's running out. I wish for another awesome 365 days of 2010, Santa. Okay, fine, not ALL of the days, but I'd want to have as many as possible. ;D with you guys. Thanks, for everything.

Goodnight, and byee. :)

2009-12-20T02:48:00.000+08:00

Ah, I'm lazy to crop out the stuff. Anyway, yeah, here's ANNIE. After a whole day without food, and too much late night DotA.. I think. I'm bored, don't feel like sleeping yet. And yeah, it's 2.44am. Sunday morning, hope the rain be fallin'. There's always ups and downs in life that everyone goes through, chill, B, Annie too. I may not be the right person to tell you guys all that cause I'm the one with all the problems and shit everytime, but uh. Yeah, haha. Don't be emo. When life's a bitch, you've to be the dog keeper. HAHA okay fine that didn't sound right, but you know what I mean lah.

Happy Birthday, Eurica.

2009-12-18T01:01:00.004+08:00

Okay, so we went celebrating Eurica's birthday today.

There's only this pic from my phone, the others are at her camera I think.
There are also vids and stuff that were uploaded on Facebook.....................check'em out at your own risk. lol.
And I realized that, bloody hell, english songs totally kick chinese stuff's ass big time.
The chinese songs were like for people who are dying, but the english stuff were omgwtfshit awesome.
Kbox is magical, says Loong.
Went for L4D 2 after that, and it's better than playing it on my 360. Damn, the controls.
Went to Coffee Bean with Teoh when we decided it was gonna be boring with Loong, Alice and Janise.
We ditched them and yeah, drinks, chat. Stuff.
Nothing much to crap about actually.
Well I usually have a lot to crap about, I KNOW.
Ah, moodswings. More on Eurica's blog.

Goodnight, and happy birthday Eurica. :)

Loong's.

2009-12-16T02:13:00.000+08:00

So I was out to Loong's place today to chillax.
The people who were invited were BryanL, Alice, Mimi, Annie, Henry and I.
Everyone was there by 11 I think. Mimi brought two of her horde of rabbit killers in a shoebox.
So cute wey. It's like. So fragile you just wanna throw it to the floor and stomp it to death. HAHAH no I'm kidding bout the stomping part. It's too lovable for anyone in their right mind to do that to them. :)

Played the set of mahjong that Alice brought over, and you know what. I concluded that Viwawa's Wahjong is waaaaaaay better than real life mahjong, wanna know why? Easy, cause in Viwawa..

You don't have to clean up after the game.
You don't have to arrange your cards.
You don't have to know when to "Pong!" or that other word. HAHA.

Sooo. Yeah, Viwawa's the love. LOL. I thought that a blank card was broken. HAHAHAHA I DON'T PLAY MAHJONG OKAY. Took pictures of the rabbits and posing people outside, then went upstairs cause it was kinda hot downstairs. Played cards and even more mahjong then. Alice and Mimi played this Johny Johny Johny Whoop Johny Johny game with me. And that A is x, B is Z, C is y, what is D? game. ANDDD. I sucked at them all. Stupid gamess. We chilled, and chilled, and chilled somemore. Until we were hungry and decided to have Pizza for lunch. TURNS OUT, Pizza's not enough, we wanted McDonalds' McFlurry & Sundae, but GUESS WHAT. THE BLOODY MACHINE'S EFFIN ROSAK says the dude who picked up the phone. What? Rosak? C'MON YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS. As all of the friggin machines in Ipoh are broken? WHAT? Bloody stupid people. Grr. We ended up having iced Ribena and Red Bean ice cream instead................ not exactly the best alternative for McFlurries and Sundaes, but I certainly am not complaining. Haha.

Loong had violin lessons at 3, so we went back upstairs and crap. Oh and I swear I didn't know that rabbits are such compulsive shitters. Like seriously, they shit all over the floor wey. LITERALLY. Then they even pee'd on Loong's computer table. HAHA. No wonder Mimi smells like rabbit. Poo. LOL. And guess what we played after Loong got back? Friggin Cards&Dares AGAIN. Damn, it's like a tradition already. I got dared to eat Mimi's rabbit biscuits. Annie had one and I had two. LOL. They taste..um. Well they're actually tasteless but then it sorta gets stuck in your throat? Idk, but it is not pleasent. Annie was dared to do something with Bryan for 30secs, and Mimi got dared to kiss my neck for 5secs. Vids of all the dares are in Mimi's cameraa. Loong tried to make everyone french kiss the wall for 30secs or go blow the bunny. HAHAHAHAHA.

Annie lost for the second time. In a row. HAHA

...you know what, we needa invent some new games. Chilled even more and then Loong and Alice was having their fun time while Mimi draws stuff on the laptop.. her drawing sucks btw. LOL. Bryan and Annie were trying to sleep. HAHA. Well you'd think its boring but then again it beats staying at home anytime. ;)

The girls left at about 6, Annie took my PSP cover.. nowonder I couldn't find it. I think she has a fetish with COVERS. Bryan left next following by me. I never actually realized how boring life must be for Loong right now until after he told me. ._. I feel so.. lucky. Anywayyyy, yeah, I'm happy with today. :)

AND ANNIE'S RUSHING ME TO POST THE PICTURES I TOOK. UGHH.

Smile.

2009-12-14T15:02:00.001+08:00

So, I removed that post yesterday.
I gave it some thought, and thanks to my friends' company, yeah, I had things settled back straight.
You can never have enough of your mum's naggings and such, it's because they care, that's why.
My mum had a reason why she didn't stop me from doing what I did,
and also a reason for not giving a huge smack to the face which I definitely deserved.
I had a long conversation with my mum last night, at about 12.
She told me lots of stuff, I kinda reflected after that, and yeah, I agree to what she said.
Mums are always right I think, no matter how wrong they may seem to be, they're still right.
And, sorry for ignoring you people yesterday, I wasn't in the mood. No hard feelings, eh?

But the bottom line of this incident is,
no matter how eff'd up things seem to be at the moment,
don't be angry;
don't be sad;

Just keep smiling. :)

Nothing much.

2009-12-11T00:31:00.004+08:00

HAHA. Luckily I didn't go to the so-called ultimate ball.

Almost everyone who went said that it sucked. LOL.

But then again, today was um.

Wasn't half bad?

I slept at 4 last night, and I woke up at 2.30 today thanks to SOMEONE who's feeling sick today. See, I told you to sleep earlier! Oh well, hope you've learned your lesson. :)

Spent the whole day doing uh.

Lets see..

Playing games on my PSP, eating watermelons, bubble talking, texting, and talking to my dear twin snail. Oh wait, and I had my mum's famous creamy spaghetti. Very very creamy spaghetti. :) I love it. So yeah, guess that's pretty much it. Sigh, sad, I know. =/ Should've went to KL with Adrian and BryanL. Grr.I actually forgotten bout it, wtf right. But then again, I don't think mum'll allow me to. Sighs.

I mean, seriously? I'll be leaving for wintercamp for 12days, till NEXT YEAR. What's going to KL if compared to this right? Or staying over at a friend's place, for that matter. Sometimes I just don't understand my parents. Sleeping over's like, a must do, teenage experience man. I'll be at my mates' house, having fun and chillin out till we fall asleep la, that's what I'll do. I won't be having shit like what, gay sex, if that's what you guys think I'll be doing. God.

Sigh, whatever. Btw, have fun at Hong Kong, Teoh. :)

Oh and I named the hamsters Cheese and Milk. ;D
This one's Cheese.

8th, Dec-16th Birthday.

2009-12-09T01:04:00.008+08:00

Phew.

It's finally over. My 16th birthday.

I've been out the whole day, like literally. I reached home at like, 10.30?

Okay, that's not important, but rather, what I did with my friends the whole day, now that. Is important. I've shirts, a book, a hamster, a used new moon movie ticket, and uh. A cake facial. But I don't know, they don't seem so.. important, unlike today. It's the first time I'm celebrating my birthday with friends. Ever. And no, I'm actually not joking, haha. Thanks for the great day, Hui Zen, Grace, Jono, Bryan L, Jovin, JS, Sean, Jojo and Jean. :) I really appreciate it a lot. Oh and there won't be loads of pics, the majority of'em are in Jojo's phone.

So okay, details, where to start, where to start.

How bout from the part after we reached Jusco. Okay, so Jojo and I walked around, we went to Popular first cause mum wanted me to get a new scientific calculator, effin' school has so many calculator thieves, damn. Anyway, my bro commented that Jojo looks like a minimized adult. HAHAHAAHHAHAHAH. Seriously. I choked back a laugh. LOL. We bumped into Hui Zen and Jono along the way. SEEEE, you don't need phones to look for people at jusco. ;) We headed to Black Canyon for breakfast, bumped into Grace while going there. SEEEEEE. No need phones la right. ;D Had salmon chop, and coffee, Jojo ordered them, I didn't know what to eat and Hui Zen was treating. AGAIN. Ugh, I needa stop minding so much bout people treating. Ahaha.

Went to Music Store to bug Maverick's dad. LOL. Then went getting Jono's file. Kbox after that. Yeah, KBOX. Karaoke. The Lala-land. HAHA. And this girl at Takashino was looking at me the whole time we walked towards the place and even after we came out. Seriously. -.- I kinda shrugged it off as vanity though. LOL. Okay, so we sang loads of stuff,

from the emoness of 4 In The Morning to the whackiness of Mamma Mia and to the rockness of Simple Plan. ;D It was fun, really. I enjoyed singing I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing a lot, I don't know why, but I felt that I could relate to the song that time. Berfeel sangat. But then again, I sound like a frog, so yeah, ribbit ribbit. They bought me a really nice slice of cake too! Thanks guys. The cake was really good. ;)

We went to Coffee Bean to chill after that.

Grace left first, followed by Hui Zen and Jono. Jojo and I talked, walked, and pic'ed till it was about 6+, we had Bryan L fetch us to the Korean BBQ joint. He looked like a girl in the car. HAHAHA. And it's Courts' aircond, seriously, Jojo. -.-

AND DAMN, NOSE PIERCING IS EFFIN SCARY SERIOUSLY. I SAW IRENE DOING IT AND OMGWTFSHIT PAINNN. Jojo kept harassing me by removing and piercing it back into place repeatedly. -.-

The food at the place isn't nice actually. I've been there once for the opening with Mei Rong. But then again they were the ones who organised this for me, so I wasn't complaining. :) Everyone came shortly after, and by everyone, I mean Bryan L, Jovin, JS, Sean and Jean. =/ Loong, BryanC and Henry were away, Adrian & Teoh couldn't make it. Sigh. We had a fun time there though. Cooked loads of stuff, and I realized that girls really can TALK. Jojo and Jean were talking and talking and talking while they flip/poke the stuff that are already BURNT. As in, all of the stuff was BLACK already, and

they were still talking/poking in their own world.

I was looking and looking and looking till I couldn't take it anymore, so I went to the guys' table. They were talking about football. -.- Great. Football. One of the most meaningless sports in the world. I mean, c'mon, so many players trying to snatch one miserable ball. It's not like they're so damn poor they can't afford another ball of their own right?! Dammit. Just give them a ball each la, no need to fight. Peace. And the girls were talking bout some.. stuff. Blehh. I just had to fit in and change the topic. ;P Had the pretty cake that Bryan L chose soon after that.

It uh. Kinda. Um. Sucks. =x BUT THEN AGAIN, I'M NOT COMPLAINING KAY. HEHE.

We had the traditional cake fight too. Jovin started it. I had so much stuff all over me. -.- And so did everyone else. HAHA. I smell like butter, and my hands and face were so darn oily cause of the cake. And turns out, Jean's ALLERGIC to butter. HAHAHA WTH RIGHT. We crapped and stuff, then Jean dropped her iPhone. SHE IS SUCH A KLUTZ RIGHT. She blamed ME! the birthday boy. Wut teh hellz right. HAHA! Oh and. She asked a question that stunned all of us.

"How tall is you?" she asked.

*brief silence*

"How tall is you?" I repeated.

*HAHAHAAHAHAHAHA*

Yeah. HAHAHAAHAH. Me thinks me are 17x, Jean. ^^

Epic stuff seriously. LOL. And the cake kinda um. Stinks. It reminds me of Jojo's beefcake. HAHA. Soo, yeah, everyone left soon after that. Sean gave me a hug, and JS gave me a used new moon movie ticket. My mum's friend, Mrs. Yong gave me a hamster................lol.

AND thanks for the phonecall, ANNIEKHAW. ;)

Dad picked me up after everyone left. I was sitting there, reminiscing bout today. I felt great. :)

Thanks for everything, everyone. I know it's the X'th time I'm saying this, but I really really appreciate it. Thank you, all of you. I had a great 16th birthday; it may be nothing to those crap like My Super Sweet Sixteen birthdays on MTV, but it's something special to me. You people rock my world.

Minutes to 16.

2009-12-07T23:52:00.002+08:00

Seven more minutes.

Clock's ticking, but I don't know,

I'm not into the birthday mood.

I've been thinking, what if I was never born?

What'll happen then?

Sigh.

I'm not ready to leave 15 yet.

But then again, clock's ticking, I don't have much of a choice now do I?

Three more minutes.

Cert? Wut.

2009-12-04T23:42:00.003+08:00

Fuck. After tonnes of repairing my cousin brother did for my laptop, it's finally back!

But. Now this is a very big but, BUTTTTTTTT.. I can't get online with it. :(

It tells me I needa verify my certificate to logon to my wireless network, I mean, c'mon, what?

I checked loads of stuff and it's nowhere near the expiry date. Great, just great. And I moved almost everything back to it too. -__- Now I'll needa transfer Warcraft III back here just so I can DotA again. =/ Oh well. Life. Imma get it fixed tomoz if it's the last thing I do. Grr.

Oh and what's up man. Why so emo. -_- I know you can't read this where you're at, but damn. That, is not the way to go. Nothing can't be solved aite? CHILLLL.

and guess what I found earlier? I just randomly typed Loong's blog link into the browser, and this came up. HAHAHA. I feel great being back here. The flippin hot weather, the bloody urge to tear off your clothes and run around screaming, "I'M FUCKING HOT MAN YEAHHHHHHHH!" ..damn. I just might do that someday. ;D

And did you people realize it's like. Some mating season nowadays. Even KITYI's not single anymore. HAHAHAHAHAHA. =x Since November, everyone's been hooking up. Except for moi. I feel so.. superior. HAHAHA. I knoww, it's so effin' sad right. Everyone's with their significant other while I, am still alone. But no matter, I have my pillow. :) I love you, pillow. Eff the haters. LOL. Idk why but I'm feeling upbeat here, even when my lappy can't get it's ass connected to the internet. Ugh.

four more days, hmm.

Wipes nose

2009-12-02T20:42:00.003+08:00

Yeah, I changed skins again.

Nice, eh?

*wipes nose*

Ugh. I've running nose for the whole day.

It's not that I'm sick or anything, but my nose has just been..um.

Runny, yeah.

It thinks it has legs and wants to join the marathon see, and it's been training exceptionally hard today. Idk, but I think my maid thinks that I'm doing something in my rooms cause of all the tissue she swept earlier, she was looking at me. Hahahaha.

Okay, so. I'm really lazy to upload all the pictures from Yunnan, and lazy to blog bout it too. ;p

Too much stuff lah, seriously. Up the many mountains which idk the names, and down to the holes and stuff, lakes, you know, sceneries. Really, really nice ones. Okay so maybe JiuZaiKou ones are better but I'm not complaining. Hahaha.

*wipes nose*

I missed all of you like hell when I was at China, seriously. I was so bored with all the misfits inside the bus. Okay fine so maybe they aren't exactly misfits, but damn. We couldn't really click I think? There were.. 5 teens, including me and mah brodda. There were 2 little girls, one round and another thin, and sharkboy. Yeah, I don't know their names. For one week, I didn't talk to them and they didn't talk to me too. Weird huh. It was until nearing the last day only the thin girl spoke to me. -.- Sharkboy and the other one didn't. Do I look that scary? =/ Oh and wanna know why I gave Sharkboy his name? Cuz he's bagpack looks like a shark. :D

......FINE. I'M VERY LAME AT NICKNAMING. :(

Anyway, the trip had ups and downs and stuff la. I got flippin sick at the third city. Diarrhea and shit, ugh. Suffer like hell. Bought souvenirs for you people too. Idk if they work but um. I bought them, so you all are supposed to keep them. Not throw them away. HAHAHAHA.

I thought bout some stuffs at China, I couldn't fall asleep that time cause from where I was, I saw a little tunnel thingy on the wall at one of the hotels, it reminded me of that Japanese horror movie female ghost that crawls around. Zhen Zhi? -.- ......................FINE, I ADMIT, I WAS IN THE TOILET THAT TIME DIARRHEAING MY INTESTINES OUT!

Anyhow, being perfectly lonely kicks ass, it's in the playlist below, look at the bottom of your screen on this page, see the music player? yeah, the song's in the playlist. ;D listennn.

So um. Yeah, going for a movie tomoz. Hope TGV doesn't eff things up. :)

*wipes nose*

ugh.

I need medicine.

Back.

2009-11-30T03:13:00.003+08:00

Sooo. I'm back after one week being at China's Yunnan. Okay, I'll put the experience into two versions.

A. It's AMAZING, THE SCENERIES WERE BREATHTAKING, THE WEATHER WAS GREAT! And so was the people there, oh so FUN! Especially the FOOD! I've tasted loads of different stuff that you guys probably wouldn't even consider trying. Well yeah, I fell sick, but COME ON, IT'S NEW STUFF! WOOHOOOO.

B. The trip sucked balls, full stop.

But here's the truth. The real one, it really isn't that bad, it's just that I came back with fever, stomach ache, and diarrhea. Oh diarrhea. I swear I have never shat that much in my entire life. And THAT, coming from me, Idk, I think it really is something? HAHAAHHAAHAHAH. So um. Yeah, I'll update this later tomoz or smth. Gotta go sleep now, hope I don't have to do my toilet runs tomorrow. *Prays really hard*

One more.

2009-11-21T23:20:00.009+08:00

So I'm gonna blog about what I did on thursday, okay? I'm bored, and I've been procrastinating my posts, even. LOL. Okay, so here's a post before I head to China.

Woke up in the morning, bout 6+. I went telling mum that I'll be collecting my report book and heading to Loong's place after that. She didn't even acknowledge me -.- I was like, okay, fine, be a bitch, but don't tell me I never let you know. Hahah.

Went to Fu San for dimsum with ALL of them, yeah ALL....It turned out to be only Loong, Henry and Teoh. Oh well, at least they showed up, if I got a flight I'd eff everyone up I swear. So yeah, no complaints here. ;D We went back to school to get our results after that. Waited for BryanL to show, and walked to BryanC's place to get some entertainment over to Loong's house. I brought my lappy along but um. It's just some midrange stuff, so yeah. Only game's DotA, couldn't really call it great entertainment huh. =x But it satisfies my needs, I love it nonetheless. Ahaha. (But of course, a high end lappy would be great too.. ;DDD)

Bumped into Jovin at BryanC's place, really unexpected stuff. lol. Heard his laugh before we even went near BryanC's. We were like, eh wtf. is that.......Jovin's VOICE?! O.O Hahaha. Sat, watched some random tv programes, and played with Sunday, the hyperactive crazy ShihTzu who bites everything he sees while we waited for BryanC to take a bath. I ended up getting my laptop adopted by Jovin, and at BryanC's laptop. ..I was Mafia Warring. Sad, I KNOWWW. -.-.- Everyone was waiting for BryanC but the guy was still dilly dallying around. LOL. Everyone was entertaining themselves, BryanL was listening to music, Jovin was sleeping on BryanC's parents' bed, Loong was playing the piano, Henry and Teoh were watching tele. I was taking pics and walking around. =x

We finally reached Loong's place, and the day kicked off with a movie called IP Man.

Wth? IP Man? Yeah you heard me right. IP Man. As in, I-pee man. ;DDD

...okay so maybe it's not I-pee man, but rather it's pronounced as yeep-man, cantonese for some chinese martial arts dude. It isn't half bad, but not that explosive too. I wished we watched something better, like, Idk, Spongebob? LOL. Hell yeah, spongebob squarepantzz. He'll totally whoop that guy's ass no prob. A few of us were watching the movie, whilst BryanL and Loong was at the computer, playing Modern Warfare 2. Oh and Windows7's speech recognition thing is cool as hell, it's just that it's not that practical for people with low patience, like. Seriously. lol.

Annie came soon after the movie ended, and I saw this note that Hui Zen posted up on Facebook, it was about me, looking for a girlfriend. -____- It got removed really soon after cuz Grace made him to, I think someone doesn't want me to have a girlfriend. :( Haha. okay, so we had McD for lunch,

and crapped about stuffs and plans which I'm gonna miss. =/ Sigh. Went back upstairs to chill, and play random card games that involved gambling with Loong's bucket of coi- I mean, stash of cash. Heh. I'm such a good dealer, don'tcha think so, peeps? ;D Thennnn. We played this counting game right, which ended up with Annie and I getting dared to do stuffs. I got dared to phone Janise to sing my school anthem, and Annie got did this dare thats about china hookers. HAHAHAAHAH. It's epic shit, really. You can get two vids of our school anthem here and here , the first one's me singing, and the second one's all of us. But Annie's hooker vid isn't up yet, needa wait for her to get back first. =//

Talked bout stuffs codenamed 1 2 3 4. lol. I was lost for idk how long till they explained. -.- Watched Legend of ChunLi at about, 5?

The movie's..............crappy. Although I didn't watch till the end. But still, it's crap. -.- Luckily I didn't go watch the movie at the cinemas. Went home soon after that. And boy oh boy. Mum was still giving me the silent treatment. -.- I had my ass scared off of me wey. I kept my results in my lappy's bag, and just acted like nothing happened.

That was pretty much everything bout Thursday I guess.

Hmm, Friday was boring, despite being the last day of school. I had a sugar rush. ;D I think I needa stop taking so much sugar, in case I scare people off one by one. -.-

Anyhow, I'll be leaving to KLIA in 2hrs, prolly won't be coming online till I come back, so yeah. Seeya peeps, all the best to the Devils on the softball competition, and Happy Birthday to BryanC and Teoh, sorry that I can't be here to celebrate with you guys. =/

Bye, peeps.

Movie/ISC day. ;D

2009-11-19T00:28:00.009+08:00

So last night, I actually got screwed for not going to school for too long and stuff by my mum. I told her I'll be going to school today cuz I'll be taking the results for my finals, but the plans changed, I told her bout my plans for today instead of going to school, thinking that everything'll be cool right, I was like," Mum, I'm not going to school tomorrow, I'll be catching a movie with my friends instead and I'll be at ISC after that, I'll get aunt to pick me up like the other day." Yeah, something exactly like this. And she was like, is that a request for permission? Cuz I didn't use MAY I and you know, stuff like that. Ended up we had a mini-arguement that ended with her saying, "Okay, you can do whatever you want tomorrow." in the tone. What's the tone you ask? Oh it's just this tone where mothers use to talk to us when they're really really disappointed and it'll make you feel guilty tone, whatever though, I ended up having loads of fun today. Ahaha. And that leaving cert thing? Oh c'mon mum, ONE DAY won't make that much of a difference.

Sooo. Woke up really early today, had breakfast and went to Hui Zen's place. He was still in his pajamas when I reached. He actually slept at 4am last night watching dramas and stuff. LOL. Crazy ass. Grace came soon after I did, and we went for some Resident Evil downstairs on the Wii. Grace said she'll whoop my ass the other day, but naturally, I kicked HER butt. ;DD Went to TGV for the movie at about 12, The Fourth Kind. :D

We had to trick Grace about how not scary it is and stuff right. And turns out, TGV scammed us. .- I mean, seriously, they say they'll have a show on 12.30pm on the site, but ended up, there's only ONE showing time, 3+pm. Loong and the others told me to go to ISC at like. 2, so natrually, we didn't get to watch the movie. Oh welll. =/ Saw my classmates there too, Jun Ming and a few others. Both Hui Zen and Grace were looking with this.. expression. HAHAHAA. Anyway, we ended up buying Where Got Ghost to watch back at Hui Zen's. I was suprised that they haven't watch it yet, "Ah Ooi, jiak ba ar buey..?" "Jiak ba liao!" remember this? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA.

Went to Sushi King for lunch after we bought the CD.

I've read this article once right, bout this guy from japan having literally his whole BRAIN infested with maggots, seriously. The cause? Sushi. ._. We're all gonna have maggots in our heads.......... or not. He had his sushis FRESH. as in really effin' fresh kinda fresh. So um, yeah.. you know I'm actually feeling something inside my skull while typing this? -____________________- Okay it's just me being paranoid. Hui Zen paid for lunch, and went for ice cream later. Baskin-Robbins on Grace.......I feel so weird la. I mean, having free LUNCH and free DESSERT? I don't feel right. -.- Chocolate mousse royale ish teh love.

I know the pic's gay and all, but I didn't take a pic of the ice cream! =/

Went back to Hui Zen's place after that to watch the movie, but I didn't know that Grace is a banana, so um. Yeah she didn't understand a shit that the actors were talking bout. I had to like,"That means, there are two...." ..yeah, you get the picture. Soooo. We decided to go get another movie instead, we ended up with this.. thriller flick called The Fog.

Title and stuff sounded like something, but the movie's actually..................not that good. It's not even scary. Throughout the whole movie, I enjoyed the parts where Grace got so scared, she hid under the blanket/her hand/her handbag. HAHAHAHA. I think watching her during horror movies is more entertaining than the movie itself. LOL! I know I've said it, but Chocolate Mousse Royale ice cream = l o v e.

Okay, so. I was supposed to get my ass to ISC by what, 2pm at first, but I ended up reaching by 4. And thank goodness I did. Everyone was a couple there, except for me. Like, seriously. Okay, look. Loong&Alice, BryanL&Annie, BryanC&Yeanyean, Teoh&Eurica.

Okay, look at this pic. Loong&Alice, Teoh&Eurica.

Ug + ? -.-

OH COME ON. I GO THERE FOR WHAT LA RIGHT. -.-.- I ended up chatting with Jean Yenn instead for idk how long, cuz she was the other lightbulb, plus she's really nice to talk to. HAHAHA.

ANDD, she looks much better in person. :)
Walked around and stuff, I think I have really really bad organs cause of the walking stones killing my feet, and um. Mosquitoes have a thing for me. LOL. Sorry for bringing you innn. Took pictures...which are in Yean Yean's phone. Walked around, chat and stuff for a bit, then yeah, we left.

When I got home right, mum had this......aura around her.

Something like this, seriously. And yeah that's Sonic. LOL

I swear the atmosphere was crazily scary, Grace'll scream and close her eyes I bet. It's even scarier than looking at maggots in some guy's brain. I'm serious. -____- I was so scared I didn't even say hi to mum, or give her one of my usual crap stories. It didn't feel the same somehow.... and that's a bad thing. -.- Oh well.... at least I had a blast today. ;D

..and I realized something, Idk if it's just me, but I think my posts are getting longer and longer somehow.....I use more time on blogging too. ._. It's a good thing I guess.. aaanyway, I've gotta do a second post, I left this one as draft cause I was dozing off last night while typing all the stuff I remember -.- moving on to the second post..

1>2,pt2. & 2012

2009-11-16T23:52:00.007+08:00

Okay so last night I stated some stuff bout the topic, 1>2 right. Well, let's see what's so good bout having 2 instead of 1 now. If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, your life wouldn't be as tasteless as single life. Say, you guys can go out and make out at some scene at the cinema, go out holding hands while telling people, "Hey people, this is my girl/boy."-thus jealousifying people. Or merely just enjoy the company of your significant other. You'll be happy-much much more happy than being single and rotting at home during the hols. Or even during normal days.

You will always have someone who would stick with you through thick and thin, cheer you up through tough times, and always be there for you, no matter what. I think that, is what most teenagers crave the most for being in a relationship. It's either all that, or solely just because of stuff like, lust? raging hormones? LOL. Or maybe just for the sake of having one, like, "oh, all my friends has a girlfriend/boyfriend but I don't! Imma go get one for myself now." If that's the point of you having a relationship right now, people, I think you should call it quits this instant. What's the point if you don't actually like that someone? Or love, for that matter. What's the point if you don't actually feel so strongly towards him/her? What's the point if the relationship's solely just because that you want to? Like, for example.

I'm a typical attention craving guy, and I go for popular girls, just so I could get the attention I desperately want. I don't like her at all actually, I'm doing all this just to get renowned. Or vice versa for the girls. What for, right?

Love is a complex thing, I personally don't think it's as shallow as us teenagers would use it. It's actually far more than just that-a word. It's far more abstract than just simply holding hands, or by word of speech. It's not as simple as the feelings you have for something. I find it to be really... indescribable. Let's have a look at what wiki has to say.

"Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my husband"). This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial love to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts. " -Wikipedia

More here .

It's up to each and everyone of us to figure out the meaning of it, but then again, why bother? We're all still so young, we still have loads of time on our hands. Why not go out enjoy ourselves huh. LOL. I'll cut this short, theres just so much err.. confusing stuff that I wanted to continue writing out, but I'll leave that for another day. ;D And who am I to tell you guys what's love right? HAHA. It's just me and my thoughts, don't take me too seriously, eh? And for the record, I do believe in love at first sight and shit. HAHAHA

Okay, I kinda doubt 1>2 now after reading my own thoughts, wtf.

1>2, Part2.

SO. You guys watched 2012 right. Is it..

Unnerving? Yes. Scary? Yes. Touching? Hell yes.

Loads of yes's, except for this question.

Will it happen? No.

It won't.

The people that are saying it'll happen are prolly idiots who thinks that life's just too shitty and that they wanna end it with a bang by using the Mayans' piece of magic prophecy rock, or people who wants to scam innocent, stupid people for some easy cash at their sites that sell books on the matter or some shit.

It's not possible cause for one thing, there's no so-called rogue planet Nibiru or smth. If there was one, we'll be able to detect something like that quite easily now wouldn't we. lol. Simple facts people, simple facts. The sun's solar flare thing like in the movie? Oh c'mon. The sun isn't getting any hotter nor colder. It's still the same huge ball of flame. So yeah, don't worry. 2012 won't be the end. We won't need that 1bil. EURO afterall. HAHAHA. This calls for Starbucks, eh guys? BryanC? LOL. Support this group , people. :D

Click to zoom in to read the stuff. ;D

Oh and cause Transformers 3 will be in 2012, so yeah.

Chillax, people. ;D

...idk why but I think this post is weird somehow. -.-

1>2 pt.1

2009-11-15T23:59:00.007+08:00

Today was boring as hell. Did the usual morning stuff, and went to Green Town for brunch.

Thing is, the car ain't coloured as nice. I edited the pic so that it'll look better. HAHA. The vehicle's quite worn-out actually. The paintjob and stuff? Yeah, everything was really..old. And the best part is, it has the PLAYBOY logo there. HAHAHA. Awkward shit la wey. Poor rabbit. =/ LOL.

Spent the whole afternoon dozing off. I swear I needa sleep earlier. =/ But then, I have the mood to blog only during late nights like right now. It's actually 0202, I started this post at 1159. lol. And I was actually counting my brother's soft crocodile-bolster's stripes wey. Imagine THAT. -.- I was uber bored, so errr. Yeah. Went to my cousin's cafe again at night. The food's okay and everything, except for the lamb chop. It looks really good, smells awesome too. But the moment you chew on it..... Whoa, it's like you're looking at the future of foods here. The pieces of lamb in your mouth, imagine, are as chewy as bubble gum or smth. No matter how you bite, no matter how hard you chomp on it, it doesn't move a budge. And I'm actually serious here. -________- Either the chef's lazy to tendonize the lamb, or my cousin got scammed. LOL.

Yeah I know, it looks like some place for horror movies. HAHA

Cream of mushroom soup ain't bad, although Campbell is clearly better. To me. =x

The smoothie's.. okay. Not that smooth, but still acceptable I guess. Maybe they should call it. Idk, Roughie? :D

...MY EXTERNAL HARDDISK WITH ALL MY SHIT IN IT ARE GONE. Idk why, but I just can't get it to work, sure, it responds when I connect it to my lappy, the blue light flashes on. But the thing is, my lappy can't sense it there! WTF?! I tried connecting it to the other computers but everything's the sameeeeeeeeee. :((((((

My collection of musiccccc. ALBUMSSS. PICTURESSS, PSP ISOSSS, DS ROMSSSSSSSS, MOVIESSSSSS. VIDEOSSSSSSSSSS. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

And no I'm not exaggerating here, I was really wtf'ed when it didn't respond after so many tries. -.- Shit laa. The Script, The Fray, The Afters, Trading Yesterday, Paramore, This Beautiful Republic, Secondhand Serenade AND MY OTHER 50GB+ WORTH OF SONG ALBUMS. GONEE. *cries* seriously. I needa get it fixed no matter what. Fcuk it. -.-

So recently, Idk if it's just me, but people around me are hooking up with the people around them? Yeah.

You guys know the song, Boys Like Girls ft. Taylor Swift, Two Is Better Than One?

I remember what you wore on our first day

You came into my life
And I thought hey
You know this could be something
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

Yeah, that song. It's pretty nice and stuff, yeah I know. It's a typical love-at-first-sight thing la. Two is better than one? Naaaah. I'd say it's the opposite. One is better than Two. You won't have heartbreaks, you won't have to go out so often if you don't feel like it, you won't feel so restricted to flirt and stuff, you won't needa worry bout your boy/girlfriend. I mean, let's be realistic. Nothing can last forever, not even a vampire boyfriend, and no, Rob Pattinson still ain't hot. I mean, ahh, Idk, but I'm starting to stop caring so much dee I think. I don't know why, I don't know how. But I think that maybe I've stopped feeling so much. It's like, my emotions got frozen, or died somehow.

-1>2, part1. I'll continue part2 tomorrow. And no, this ain't an emo post. :)

Nothing to do, nowhere to be.
I sip a little kind of free
Nothing to do, no one but me
That's all I need

Ipoh International School Open Day

2009-11-14T23:07:00.012+08:00

OKAY. So I went to Ipoh International School's Open Day today. I woke up at like. 6. Cause mum's setting up a burger stall there so uh, yeah. I wanted to hit the Snooze button so badly the moment my school's anthem started playing.........it's the only song that can wake me up. Yeah, imagine how good it sounds. -________-

So I went to this place for food with my mum's colleagues first, and reached the school at about. 7+? Okay, so I was sitting around, waiting for people to come get me, people like. Kian Seng, or Hui Zen. Mum was looking at me the whole time, like she's expecting something to happen anytime to me. -___- aaaanyway, Kian Seng found me first, he walked me around the place, and uh. Till Hui Zen arrived. Went around the place selling BOOKMARKS. Please wey. 2BUCKS FOR ONE BOOKMARK? -_______________________________- It's amazing how he managed to sold every effin one of'em. HAHA. I feel so bad for not being the slave I was supposed to be. =x

Kian Seng's game stall was great I guess, I mean, reaping in profit like THAT weyy. Economics huh, gotta note that down. ;D He dragged me over to watch this DEBATE competition -.- and this LITERATURE QUIZ. -.-.- It's just so you huh Kian Seng. HAHAHAHA. The main attraction of the place is the Tenby Got Talent show I guess. The kids are adorable. HAHA. But um, I prefer the older peeps' performance. Like the Beyonce song by this dude called Nasyim? He has amazing vocals. And the Miley Cyrus one too. :)

BUT. The one that I was looking forward to the most was Relish16.

The performance was awesome. It's just that the amp kinda ruined everythinggg. Haha, well not exactly EVERYTHING. You guys were rockin pretty good even without the singing. LOL Grace's vocal was struggling to keep up to her guitar. LOL. Truth is, you guys lost cause of the amp like seriously. But don't worry, you guys still rock. :) The song was awesome, to be honest, I couldn't really make a sentence from what Grace was shouting, but from the stuff I could BARELY make out, I'd say the song's pretty nice. Maverick played a good lead guitar, shredding like that's woww. haha. Derrick's bass was um. Entertaining in a way. HAHHA. And the drummist, Jason was great. I think I'll go learn how to play the drums next time. Gahh. I saw C, G, Am then I walked to the other side cuz it was really ear piercing. =x You guys were great, don't worry. It's just cause of the amp, otherwise you guys would've won. I want the video of themmmm. GO Relish16! ;D

I like this song. :D Go record it! EP huh. I have just the stuff I think. ;)

Sooo. Hui Zen, Grace and I went to grab some drinks, and went to Hui Zen's place right after Relish16 was done. Kareem was performing.. and uh......................................................................... He was okayy.. yeah. Played WiiPlay, Resident Evil and House of the Dead with Grace on Wii, and damn, for someone who didn't have games in her life, she sure kicks ass. -.- NOT THAT I LOST TO HER IN ZOMBIE SHOOTING OR ANYTHING OKAY. HAHA. Got screwed by Joey for ditching her back at IIS. :( Sorrreee. Went back just in time to see the results for the talent show. Nasyrim, the Beyonce dude won first place, he's good. And this kid who sang I'm Yours won second place. ._. Uhh. Okayy.. Oh and Annie woke up at 9+, saw her at about 11. LOL. Had a burger and a hotdog from mum's stand. Specially made for me okay. ;DDD

Chatted around and stuff with the people around me.

Let's see, here's the list of people I remember: Hui Zen, Kian Seng, Grace, Maverick, Jonathan, Annie, Pauline, Derrick, Jason, Chang You, Chang Lin, Sara Amelia & Dee. I didn't see Jamie, Joel and the others, supringsingly. ._. Oh welll. Wanted to join them at Jusco at first, but I wasn't feeling well. -.- So er. yeah, came back home. =/

I enjoyed today. :) You people are awesome compared to normal local school peeps. HAHA.

Oh and one more thing, I didn't take pictures. -______- I was shy, and I FORGOTTEN BOUT IT UNTIL THE VERY LAST MINUTE. So er. Bear with the unclear pics kay. Oh and I got a free bookmark! :D

In the land of hopes and dreams
Where everything possible is happening
Don't let go of what you believe
So welcome to the city

Just Keep Smiling

Bye-bye, 2011

Barely legal

Stones & Gems

Mid-Autumn Festival

Growing Up

The Pieces

Happy Fathers' Day

Making It There

Intertwined

Happy Mothers' Day

Show Me A Smile

Alternate Realities

Through it all

Bye, Kian Seng.

Only One

Reach Out

Free Your Mind

Halfway There

Walking Alone

Bye, May

清醒着 一再续杯

To Smile & Hope For The Best

Thanks For The Memories

Teachers' Day

Pictures, Imperfect

情非得已

Happy Mother's Day!

Arrivederci

Très Bien

MGS Pesta Ria

Amusement

Easter

Another

Good Friday

March, 31st

Live; Happy Birthday Grace!

Stupid

Dilemma

Supper

Vacation

Recently

CNY's Friday

CNY's Tuesday

CNY's Sunday/Valentines Day

Happy CNY;V-Day!

Not okay.

THE update.

Half-An-Update.

Nerds are cool.

To make it.

Baby cause we're soldiers in a war.

Hold me now, don't bother.

Turn around.

Fall back down.

Grotesque, horror movie.

Humid stuff.

Leaving, is not the end.

Because of everyone.

Happy Birthday, Eurica.

Loong's.

Smile.

Nothing much.

8th, Dec-16th Birthday.

Minutes to 16.

Cert? Wut.

*Wipes nose*

Back.

One more.

Movie/ISC day. ;D

1>2,pt2. & 2012

1>2 pt.1

Ipoh International School Open Day

清醒着一再续杯

Wipes nose